X
theAsianparent Philippines Logo
theAsianparent Philippines Logo
EnglishFilipino
Product GuideSign in
  • Building a BakuNation
  • Becoming a Parent
    • Trying to Conceive
    • Pregnancy
    • Delivery
    • Losing a Baby
    • Project Sidekicks
  • Ages & Stages
    • Baby
    • Toddler Years
    • Preschool Age
    • Kids
    • Preteen & Teen
  • Parenting
    • Parent's Guide
    • News
    • Relationship & Sex
  • Health & Wellness
    • Diseases & Injuries
    • Allergies & Conditions
    • Vaccinations
  • Education
    • Preschool
    • K-12
    • Special Education Needs
  • Lifestyle Section
    • Celebrities
    • Contests & Promotions
    • Home
    • Travel and Leisure
    • Fashion
    • Fitness
    • Wellness
    • Money
  • Become a VIP
  • COVID-19
  • Press Room
  • TAP Recommends
  • Shopping

Thinking of someone else other than your spouse during sex? Here's how to stop

3 min read
Thinking of someone else other than your spouse during sex? Here's how to stopThinking of someone else other than your spouse during sex? Here's how to stop

Can't seem to shake the habit of fantasizing about another person while getting intimate with your spouse? Here's how to stop

You’re in bed with your spouse, and things are starting to heat up. You are thrilled by their touch and are aroused by foreplay, but just when you’re in the thick of intimacy  a face pops up in your mind and then you start to imagine you’re doing with this person. Suddenly, you feel guilty and your focus shifts from your partner who loves you, to a person you’re attracted to. It could be a celebrity or a co-worker; whoever it is, thinking about them while you’re intimate has left you feeling like you’ve betrayed them.

According to Bustle, a recent survey in the UK found that 42% of men and 46% of women admitted to thinking about someone else during sex.

Thinking of someone else other than your spouse during sex? Heres how to stop

photo: shutterstock

The first step is not to put pressure on yourself or your partner to be attracted to you alone…

Based on the experiences of couples who’ve sought his help, clinical Psychologist Seth Meyers shares that the root of their issue with fantasizing about others during sex is jealousy.

How can couples approach this together?

First, advises Dr. Meyers, couples must accept that they can never totally meet each other’s needs, be it sexual or not. It’s even healthy to fantasize, he assures in an article on Psychology Today. So the first step is not to put pressure on yourself or your partner to be attracted to you alone.

But when this happens regularly, then this becomes a cause for concern, and it could be a sign of a deeper problem. It could be a “coping mechanism” or a projection of unfulfilled needs that go beyond the bedroom. Ask yourself: Do I have unresolved feelings, wants, desires that are not being met? Do I believe they would be meet by someone like my “fantasy person” and not my spouse?

Communicate with your spouse to get to the root of your problem, says Newlyweds.com.

While it’s important to accept that this happens once in a while, it’s also dangerous to be too lax, allowing yourself to fantasize without addressing the cause of your problem.

The best way to stop? Is making a habit of holding yourself accountable. Don’t downplay constant fantasizing as harmless because, when left unchecked, it could form unfaithful habits and lead you down a dangerous road.

Confronting these issues early on is an important part of making sure your relationship remains strong and healthy and it will make sex all the more guilt-free and satisfying.

Think of it this way: if your partner was thinking of someone else during sex, how would it make you feel?

READ: The Top 5 sexual fantasies that married men have

sources: Psychology Today, Bustle, Newlyweds.com

Partner Stories
5 Ways to Spice Up Sexy Time—the Responsible Way
5 Ways to Spice Up Sexy Time—the Responsible Way
Operation V-Day: Up your sexy game with your partner-in-crime
Operation V-Day: Up your sexy game with your partner-in-crime
Your child's passion awaits in this remarkable country!
Your child's passion awaits in this remarkable country!

Got a parenting concern? Read articles or ask away and get instant answers on our app. Download theAsianparent Community on iOS or Android now!

img
Written by

Bianchi Mendoza

Become a Contributor

  • Home
  • /
  • Couples
  • /
  • Thinking of someone else other than your spouse during sex? Here's how to stop
Share:
  • Low sex drive during pregnancy: Is it normal?

    Low sex drive during pregnancy: Is it normal?

  • He finally put a ring on it: Singaporean couple get hitched after 40 years together

    He finally put a ring on it: Singaporean couple get hitched after 40 years together

  • Safe ba at maaaring mabuntis kapag nakipag-sex after menstruation?

    Safe ba at maaaring mabuntis kapag nakipag-sex after menstruation?

app info
get app banner
  • Low sex drive during pregnancy: Is it normal?

    Low sex drive during pregnancy: Is it normal?

  • He finally put a ring on it: Singaporean couple get hitched after 40 years together

    He finally put a ring on it: Singaporean couple get hitched after 40 years together

  • Safe ba at maaaring mabuntis kapag nakipag-sex after menstruation?

    Safe ba at maaaring mabuntis kapag nakipag-sex after menstruation?

Get advice on your pregnancy and growing baby. Sign up for our newsletter
  • Pregnancy
    • Baby
    • Breastfeeding & Formula
    • Baby Names
    • Delivery
  • Parenting
    • Parent's Guide
    • Advice for Parenting Kids
    • Relationship & Sex
  • Lifestyle Section
    • Local celebs
    • Celebrities
    • Money
    • News
  • FAMILY & HOME
    • Couples
    • Weekend & Holiday Guide
    • Health
  • Building a BakuNation
    • More
      • TAP Community
      • Advertise With Us
      • Contact Us
      • Become a Contributor


    • Singapore flag Singapore
    • Thailand flag Thailand
    • Indonesia flag Indonesia
    • Philippines flag Philippines
    • Malaysia flag Malaysia
    • Sri-Lanka flag Sri Lanka
    • India flag India
    • Vietnam flag Vietnam
    • Australia flag Australia
    • Japan flag Japan
    • Nigeria flag Nigeria
    • Kenya flag Kenya
    © Copyright theAsianparent 2022. All rights reserved
    About Us|Team|Privacy Policy|Terms of Use |Sitemap HTML
    • Tools
    • Articles
    • Feed
    • Poll

    We use cookies to ensure you get the best experience. Learn MoreOk, Got it

    We use cookies to ensure you get the best experience. Learn MoreOk, Got it

    theAsianparent heart icon
    Nais naming magpadala ng notification sa'yo tungkol sa latest news at lifestyle update.