In the heat of anger, we can do things we regret. This is true for both men and women.
This was the case for Florence Terry who recounts how she began hitting—and kept hurting—her husband. She recalls the first time she lost it and hit him. After the incident, she felt such remorse and embarrassment. She consoled herself with the fact that it would not happen again. But it did.
Over a year later, it happened again during one of their fights. After the second time, she noticed that it was starting to become a pattern.
She recalls her unbelievable and unexpected fits of rage in article published in The Guardian. What usually set her off were simple things: her husband coming to their bedroom late or chores left undone. Whatever the reason, she would soon find herself hitting him, her calm, rational voice would soon escalate and she felt like she was not in control of her own body.
If you can relate to Terry’s experience, perhaps what helped her can help you, too.
1. Recognize the root of your behavior
As Terry looks back on her struggle, she found that her short temper was the result of a stressful job and a busy schedule. She had made it a habit to pack her weekends and free time with other obligations, like charity work.
2. Manage expectations
Because of her constant need to “give back” to society, as a sort of compensation for being given opportunities others had not, she unknowingly expected her husband would share this viewpoint.
But expecting too much of him led to disappointment, which manifested itself in resentment and pent-up anger.
3. Accept that you need to change
Like Terry, change can’t happen unless you let it. Know that though there are issues that need to be addressed, violence is never the solution.
4. Get help with anger management
Reach out to a trusted friend or relative to help sort out feelings of anger. Get insight from those who have been in similar situations. You don’t have to try to fix everything alone. This can lead to feelings of frustration and even deepen your anger.
According to the American Psychological Association, you can deal with anger in three ways: expressing, suppressing, or calming.
Of this three, expressing is the healthiest. But be sure this expression is not accompanied by aggression.
What advice would you give a short-tempered person? Let us know in the comments below!
sources: NHS.UK, MarieClaire.com, The Guardian, Inquirer.net
READ: My short temper is causing problems in my marriage. How can I manage my anger?
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