7 reasons why Chinese moms are better than you

Renowned author and self-proclaimed tiger mom, Amy Chua, made headlines around the world when she proclaimed that Chinese moms were better than other moms. Check this out for 7 reasons why.

7 reasons why Chinese moms are better than you

In 2011, Yale law Professor Amy Chua sent shockwaves around the world with her book, "Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother,” wherein she unabashedly proclaimed Chinese mothers superior to others.

Amy, an advocate of "tiger parenting,” claimed that it was this strict parenting style that pushed a great number of Chinese kids to thrive in school. While many parents find tiger parenting too extreme, the number of high achieving kids it has produced cannot be denied.

So, what is it about this unrelenting, strict style that makes Chinese parents (allegedly) better and more effective than others? Click "next” to find out.

They believe their children can be the best

Chinese mothers believe that their kids can be the best students. Chua said that Chinese parents push their kids to do more—to practice repeatedly because it’s vital to excellence. She added that, once a child excels in something, she gets praised and, consequently, her confidence increases. For Chinese parents, academic achievement is an indication of successful parenting. If their kids are having difficulty in school, then they must be doing something wrong.

In the article "How good are the Asians? Refuting four myths about Asian-American academic achievement” by Yong Zhao and Wei Qui, they presented findings that Chinese Americans get higher SAT math scores and a lot of them are U.S. National Merit Scholars—making them "overrepresented” in the elite universities in the U.S.

They are more demanding about results

Chinese parents push their children to practice, study, and achieve academic excellence. Liu Yiting chronicled her rigorous family education in the bestselling book Harvard Girl Liu Yiting. A growing number of Chinese parents have aimed for their children to be accepted in America’s elite universities. Chinese moms are more demanding than Western mothers are, resulting in more "accomplished, academically successful kids.”

They emphasize effort not innate ability

Achievement is not a genetic issue (not something born with) but a cultural factor, said author James Flynn in his book, Asian Americans: Achievement Beyond IQ; he pointed out the value placed on work ethics and educational tradition.

For Chinese parents, it’s all about the effort you put into what you do. It’s not about innate ability, it’s about the grind. They believe that effort pays off one way or another. Chua’s daughter, Sophia, narrated how she was made to go to piano camps, realizing later that even creativity takes effort—even a talented pianist as she needed to work hard to perfect her craft.

They are very strict about putting in the work

While some parents think that requiring half an hour practice daily is strict, Chinese mothers view the first hour of practice as easy while the second and third hours are the tough ones. They spend 10 times longer on academic drills with their children while Western kids will enroll in sports teams. Many Chinese parents enroll their kids in after-school tutoring programs as early as first grade, hoping they will outperform their classmates academically.

Harvard Girl Yiting was no stranger to strict regimen. Her parents made her jump rope every day until she won a school competition and was asked to hold ice cubes with her bare hands for as long as she can to improve her endurance.

They are straightforward about what needs to be done

They will not beat around the bush. Chinese moms will tell you straight to your face what’s wrong with you. In Chinese culture, sugar coating rarely happens. Chua said Chinese parents are not that concerned with their child’s psyches, they focus on strength and not fragility.

They believe that their children are strong enough to take shaming and they will use it to improve on their studies. They do not believe in reassuring kids when they deliver only a mediocre performance.

They believe they know what is best for their children

Chinese parents believe that they know ultimately what is best for their kids. They assume the authority to override their children’s preferences. For example, Chinese daughters are not allowed to have boyfriends in high school and they can’t go to sleepovers. The authoritarian parental style that dictates "what is best” is the Chinese parent’s way of showing how they care a lot for their children.

While Western parents seek to respect their child’s individuality and provide a positive environment, Chinese parents are believe that they need to arm their kids with skills, instill work habits, let them recognize their abilities, and develop inner confidence to prepare them better for the future.

They control the situation to get what is required

Chinese moms can be very controlling to produce the behavior and output expected from their children. They dictate what their kids need to do and shouldn’t do. Chua threatened her 7-year-old daughter, Lulu, that she would not have lunch, dinner, birthday presents, and employed all other tactics until the girl had mastered her piano piece.

Their house became a war zone and Lulu kept rebelling until, one day, she was able to master her piece. Lulu even acknowledged that it was easy! Chua said that there’s no better way of building one’s confidence than seeing that one can achieve something previosuly thought not possible.

7 reasons why Chinese tiger moms are better than you

The strict Chinese parenting style may not be for everyone but there’s no denying that it has produced success-driven individuals in different parts of the world. It’s tough love but it’s the kind that has worked for them.

If you have any insights, questions or comments regarding the topic, please share them in our Comment box below. Like us on Facebook and follow us on Google+ to stay up-to-date on the latest from theAsianparent.com Philippines!

Written by

Ivy Guerrerro

chinese momsEnglish