Annoying your spouse every now and then has been found to be the sign of a healthy relationship. It means that you’re comfortable enough to be truly who you are without fear of judgment.
But when it becomes excessive and not handled in a healthy way, it can cause you to fall into the habit of resenting your spouse. The little things can add up. Here’s how to rein things in to make life easier with the one you love.
What are the things couples often find annoying?
The things couples find annoying can range from bad manners to little quirks and habits that their partner has not outgrown—passing gas, picking their teeth in public are common examples. Not paying attention is one habit that can also cause frustration. Another common complaint is poor hygiene and overall messiness. Conversely, having a spouse whose controlling or a neat freak can also be frustrating.
photo: dreamstime
How can you deal without lashing out?
No matter what you find annoying, calling out your spouse is fine because communicating and giving feedback is how you both can grow. Be clear that what irks you is nothing that can’t be adjusted. It is important to be sensitive and specific without expecting that your partner will figure out how to help you feel better.
It’s also important to manage expectations. Know that you can’t change your partner overnight, so it’s important to accept their little quirks for what they are and to let them know that you believe they are capable of changing for the better. Acknowledge your own areas for improvement, too. Because neither of you are perfect. What’s more, this will make your partner more receptive to your suggestions.
Don’t forget to focus on the good traits instead of the occasional bad habits. If you don’t dwell on what annoys you and spend time writing down or reflecting on the things that make you fall in love with your spouse each day, then the little annoyances can soon seem irrelevant and even funny. Try to find the humor in the situation. If you’re too upset, take time away from your partner and remind yourself that the good things they do will always outweigh life’s little annoyances.
How do you cope when you’re annoyed with your spouse? Let us know in the comments below.
sources: Today.com, Psychology Today, Family Share
READ: 5 Ways to deal with your spouse’s sudden mood swings
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