We’re all entitled to be in a bad mood once in a while, especially when we’re having a rough day, but what if your spouse seems to constantly be swinging from one bad mood to the other, with little to no regard for how it affects you? How will you tell them to resist something they can’t control? Oftentimes, telling them to stop feeling or acting a certain way can only upset them even further.
So how do you deal with the sudden shifts in your partner’s moods? Here are a few ideas, thanks to Dr. Alex Lickerman of Psychology Today.
1. Enumerate and analyze your usual reactions to your spouse’s bad moods
It’s easy to mimic your partner’s bad mood without realizing it. Though irrational at times, when your better half is upset or irritated, you often respond in the same way. Try to assess what sets them off and what exactly upsets you about their mood swings before you can address your personal issues towards it.
2. Own up to your own responses to your spouse’s mood
It helps to take responsibility for how you react emotionally to your partner’s bad moods. Getting upset when your spouse is angry can only worsen the situation. It will create conflict and possibly spiral into a fight over the most inane things.
Remember: you may not be able to control their moods, but you have the power to influence it.
3. Surround yourself with positivity
In the same way that you can influence your partner’s moods, certain people can also have the same effect on you. So make sure to surround yourself with people who won’t drag you down and those who will lift you up when you’re feeling low.
4. Have a mood management strategy in place
The next time your partner throws a fit or lashes out, be prepared. Observe your partner’s needs. Does he or she want to rant without being negated? Let them vent. Don’t try to solve your partner’s problem or fix the situation. Sometimes, the best way to help them get past their bad mood is to leave them be.
5. Don’t despair because moods change
Remember: that their bad mood is not always your fault.
It will all pass. They can’t be in a bad mood forever, so don’t beat yourself up too much. If possible, gain some emotional or physical distance for a while. Use their bad moods as an opportunity to exercise love and patience. Meet their fits with love. Keep silent when needed. Don’t oppose them just because they’re annoying you.
One of the greatest tests in relationships is loving the one you’re with even when they’re not necessary likeable.
sources: Psychology Today, Bustle, The Huffington Post
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