Telling them that ‘It’s easy’
For a child, the things that might seem trivial to you, can be very complicated for them.
Sometimes, you might feel the urge to tell your child that “I can do it, so it’s easy,” without understanding that you’re talking to a child. Children see and understand things differently than adults, so it’s important to take it into consideration when talking to your child.
An example would be if you see your child struggling to do some math homework. For you, math might come easy, but for your child, it might be something scary, or something that seems complicated for them, so they’re having a hard time with it.
So the next time you’re tempted to tell your child that “It’s easy,” think twice, and try to reassure them instead of just dismissing their feelings.
Doing them too many favors
As parents, it’s part of your job to take care of your child. However, what’s not part of your job is doing too much for them.
Seeing your child get frustrated because of a difficult math problem, or seeing that their science or art project isn’t the ‘best’ might tempt you to help your child out. But it’s important for your child to know that they won’t always get help from you whenever they’re having trouble with something.
Letting your child struggle and learn from their mistakes can help them become more independent, and much more confident in their ability to solve problems. They also have the satisfaction of figuring things out by themselves, and finishing something on their own. It will really boost their self-esteem.
Overreacting when they make mistakes
Some parents are perfectionists. It might be due to the fact that when they were younger, their own parents pushed them to work hard and do things perfectly, or they might have been achievers while they were growing up, so they’re used to always doing things right.
However, your kids aren’t exactly the same as you. You might be good with speaking in public, but your child might not do so well at it. People have different types of things that they’re good at, and that’s not something that you can pass down to your kids.
Which is why it’s important for parents to not ‘freak out’ whenever their kid makes a mistake, or does something wrong. If it seems that your child has low grades, but you can see them working hard and studying late into the night, then don’t overreact and tell them that what they’re doing is ineffective.
It might be the case that there are other factors involved as to why their grades are low. They might not be familiar with the subject matter, or they might have things on their mind that they need to sort out. Either way, freaking out or overreacting won’t do your child any good.
If you’re the type to overreact, or react without thinking, it’s best to take a couple of minutes to think about what you’ll say, and compose yourself. Thinking about what you’ll tell your child is important if you want their self-esteem to be intact. Let them know that it’s okay, and that you’ll be helping them get better.
READ: Parenting essentials: Developing your child’s self-esteem
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