When a friend or relative confides in us about infidelity, it’s often met with disbelief. “He didn’t seem like the cheating type” or “He was so nice” are things we often hear.
In some instances, however, people give less sympathetic responses. They claim it was obvious from the start, or that they knew there was something “off” about him or her.
In an effort to learn more about this, we got in touch with real women and found out what experts had to say. Here are some of the behavioral cues that can serve as clues to determine if your partner has a tendency to be unfaithful.
1. Flirtatiousness
If someone enjoyed flirting prior to entering into a committed relationship, they might find it difficult to do without it.
There is no harm in being friendly but there is a danger, according to relationship experts Olga Levancuka and Gary Amers, in an interview with Independent, because “this need for validation and feeling desired can eventually lead them to cheat on you.”
One mom, who chose to remain anonymous, shared how she and her partner would always fight because he would always have a slew of female friends around.
2. Insecurity
Bombee Bartolome shared with us how potential cheaters are usually “insecure and easily emasculated”, which experts agree are common traits seen in cheaters.
Their constant need for love and attention should always be met can lead them down the path of infidelity when they feel these needs aren’t being met.
3. Self-Centeredness
Cheaters are often described as narcissists who seek to have all the attention or admiration, so much so that they place their need for validation above their partner’s needs.
According to experts, self-absorbed people find it difficult to emphatize with their partner’s struggles and feelings. Hence, cheating is more likely when they seek out love and admiration from someone else.
photo: Pixabay
4. Secretive and defensive
Canada-based Pinoy mom Karya Duque shared that cheaters are often “overprotective about their phone” even to the point of deleting all messages.
24-year-old Hazel Paras, who’s in a longterm relationship, shared how men with a tendency to cheat are not only secretive, they’re also easily irritated by questions.
“Subtle signs can be they cant fully disclose their whereabouts, inconsistent answers or story, overly defensive, nitpicks when before doesn’t over simple stuff, fidgety, any abrupt changes in behavior,” shares Rachel Huerto.
5. Overly critical and suspicious
In the same manner, they’re evasive and “Pa-mysterious” according to Vicky Feliz.
“A partner who is honest and reliable won’t doubt or accuse you because they don’t doubt themselves,” said relationship experts Levancuka and Amers, adding that potentially unfaithful partners are paranoid.
Even simple acts as paying someone else a compliment or befriending someone of the opposite (or same) sex, tends to set your partner off.
6. Lacks remorse
Happily married mom Dazzle Ng believes a cheating partner is someone who “can lie with a straight face”.
New Jersey-based Anj Pascual shared similar observations about infidelity.
“The scary part about long term cheaters is that they seem so normal. They’ve mastered the art of fooling their partner,” she said. “And when caught, they are quick to blame their partner for the cheating.”
Though there is no exact science to predict cheating, as mom Charisse Llorin said, “it’s scary to attribute cheating to a personality trait, it almost removes the persons accountability for his/her choices,” but subtle hints and cues can serve as clues to save us from heartbreak.
READ: 7 Tips on how to prevent cheating in your marriage
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