My dearest child, this is how you’ve changed my life…
You were born during the start of summer in March, just six days after my own 27th birthday. In many ways, I was re-born that day, too. I don’t know that anything in life really could have prepared me for becoming a mother, but I certainly was ready at that age.
Being a mom
It maybe stressful and frustrating to be a mom, but guess what? I feel so great being a mother, like totes! I can’t even explain the feeling how great it is!
To be honest, I always ask myself if I am doing the best that I can to be a mother to you my dear son; not just that actually, but also on being a good wife to your dad. Well sometimes I still think that what I give to you guys is not quite enough.
With all the things I’m doing for you—breastfeeding and now feeding you fresh milk and sometimes formula, doing your laundry, bathing you, giving you daily vitamins, prepping you food, and a lot more, still I feel like it’s still not enough.
Though still I cannot explain the feeling that I feel when I see you smile nor laugh. The happiness is different from all the happiness I’ve ever felt in my life!
They say that there will be so many times that you’ll feel like you’ve failed, but in the eyes, heart, and mind of your child you are enough, and definitely a super mom.
Some days, I have no idea how I’ll do it actually—take care of you, do the house chores, be a wife—but every single day everything still gets done.
Honestly, becoming a mother made me realize that I can do almost anything…one-handed.
Definitely, motherhood is unselfishness, because when you become a mother you are no longer the center of your own universe. You relinquish that position to your children, even to your spouse.
Definitely being a mom isn’t an easy job, but it’s definitely the best job anyone could ever ask for. Also, being a mom is just so magical. Moreover, being a mom—you can be a mess and still be a good one. We are allowed to be both.
You’ve changed my life
You are the light of my life, you have saved me, you’ve changed my life in so many ways.
You saved me from the pain and suffering that comes all too easily in this cold, bitter world, with just one smile, from the anger that has filled my heart for so many years, with just one kiss, and from all of the times that I’ve ever felt like I had no purpose, with just one word, “mom.”
When the world comes crashing down around me; when things feel too stressful, all it takes is one look into your eyes, and I know that everything is going to be okay because I have you.
You have shown me the purest form of love. The first time I ever cried tears of joy was the day that I gave birth to you.
My dear sweet child, if only I knew the things that I know now. You’re my first-born, and to be perfectly honest, I had no idea what I was doing at first. I had to learn it all with you.
After all, you are the reason I became a mother and for that I am so grateful. You were so small yet you taught me so much about being a mom.
I’m sorry that you were at the center of all of my trials and errors. I wanted so much to get it right. I think my expectations of you when you were that small were unrealistic.
I spent so much time worrying that you weren’t getting enough sleep and that maybe you weren’t developing properly because of something I was doing wrong that, often, I didn’t allow myself to just enjoy the the simplicity of you as a baby.
You were our first. Never again will I get the chance to do that over, so forgive me I was all so paranoid from the very start I have known that you were in mom’s tummy.
The way that your eyes light up and fill with wonder so easily has taught me more than you could imagine. Too often, it is easy to take things for granted; things that I should appreciate and cherish.
What I have come to realize while watching you grow is that this life passes us by way too quickly. It is important to soak in every second, because each moment is fleeting, soon to be nothing but a memory.
Better me
My child, you will always be the one who teaches me how to be the best mom that I can be, a part of me, the best part might I add, my heart, my soul; everything that is good in this world, the smart, talented, funny, and my amazing one. And you changed my life for the better.
You’re hands down, my greatest accomplishment, my most precious gift. Nothing that I’ve done in my life before you is relevant. The second I gave you life is the second you gave me mine.
You will never know the depths of my love for you, and all of the ways that you changed me for the better the instant that I set eyes on your beautiful face.
I must say that the better me now has been really better in many things.
- I have been better on being patient, especially when you’re throwing tantrums.
- I have been better on cooking, I guess I have been the best experimenting chef that I can be.
- I have been better on teaching, you’re the best student I have ever had and I am amazed everyday on how your smart mind works.
- I have been better on taking my time off on social media, because all I need is just you to fill in the boredom and you are enough.
- I have been better on being strong and I am amazed how strong I am especially when I’m with you.
- I have been better on fighting my depression, because I know you’re there to fight it beside me and remind me, “Mom, you’ll be okay. I’m here.”
- I have been a better person, because you’ve showed me how to be one with your kind heart, innocent mind, and oh so charming smile.
I love you, my dear child. I am who I am because of you. You are every reason, every hope, and every dream I’ve ever had…Everyday we are together is the greatest day of my life, because you changed my life, and I’m constantly growing, every single day.
Basahin: Open letter to the invisible mother who feels ignored
