For a lot of parents, the most straightforward way of dealing with a hard-headed and irresponsible child would be to lecture them, or nag them until their child listens to what they say.
However, not only is it an ineffective method of discipline, it also prevents your child from learning how to be responsible.
Stop lecturing, and look at the bigger picture
If you see that your child seems lazy, or acts like a spoiled brat, then you might be tempted to lecture them or nag them until they fix their behavior.
But the hard truth is that your kids learn this type of behavior from their parents. While you yourself might not be a spoiled brat or act irresponsibly, some of your actions might have consequences that make your kids feel that it's okay to act irresponsible.
Maybe you've been helping them out too much, or bailing them out of situations that they should have handled by themselves. These actions make your kids feel entitled, and thus they act irresponsibly as a result.
You also might be giving them mixed signals about you want them to do. Whenever your child misbehaves, try to calm down first, and stop yourself from lecturing them outright. Look at the big picture and try to understand where your child is coming from.
Know what your child needs
Different kids have different attitudes, as well as different needs. What might work for one child might not necessarily work for your kid, so it's important to know your child's attitude so that you know what type of approach would work best for them.
Some kids listen better if their parents sit them down calmly and talk to them. Other kids learn from actual examples, so their parents need to walk the talk, and lead by example.
It's also important to detach your needs from your child's needs, as sometimes parents tend to assume that they know their kid in and out. Take some time to really think about your child, and what they need in order to have structure in their life.
Respect your child's boundaries
Even if you're a parent, it's very important to respect your child's boundaries. Sometimes, when you're angry or frustrated at your child, you might inadvertently step beyond their boundaries.
Parents should respect their children's decisions and not try to tell them what to do 100% of the time. If your child is making a science project, and it seems that they're not good at it, just leave them be. Instead of coming to their aid to fix the problem, why not let them learn from the experience and give them an opportunity to improve themselves.
Teaching your child to become responsible is less about telling them what to do, and more about letting them experience things as well as do things by themselves. You're just here to guide them along the way, not to impose your beliefs or force them to act a certain way that you want.
Independence helps your child be more responsible, so learn to value independence in your child.
Source: empoweringparents.com
READ: Is it possible for spoiled children to become responsible adults?
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