Is dirtier better?
Do you find yourself tongue-tied or embarrassed when you want to say something dirty to your husband? Does saying the f-word, c-word and all the other words usually heard in porn flicks make you stutter or feel awkward?
If you answered “yes,” then take comfort in the fact that you aren’t alone. Since most of us have had conservative upbringings, talking dirty may not be one of our strong points. But don’t fear, we’ve put together a few tips and tricks on how to talk dirty in the bedroom.
Lesson #1 Talk about talking dirty
For a shy lady, broaching the subject neutrally or during a positive emotional state can be the best entry point. The best time to ask if your husband would like it is just as you’re snuggling post-coitus. The happy hormones are circulating and both of you just had orgasms, which can foster a comfortable discussion about something you aren’t sure about.
Lesson #2 Determine your type: dominant or submissive
While we aren’t talking Christian Gray and Anastasia Steele, most relationships usually have varying degrees of dominant and submissive undertones. Are you the one who likes to take charge in bed? Or does your partner prefer to take the lead?
Being able to distinguish each other’s type can help you say the right things to your partner and even show you what’s comfortable for you to say:
Focus on telling our partner what you want him to do with specifics, usually pointing to the body part you want attention on.
Let your partner take the lead and tell him how he’s doing and what his attentions on a certain body part feel like.
You can start slowly and build your dirty vocabulary up from there.
Lesson #3 Discuss the intensity
You can start out tame or go straight to the filthy, aggressive stuff; it’s up to you and your partner. You may not want to hear certain words but you want your partner to get creative.
Click here for some great examples to use based on how intense you want your bedroom dialogue to be.
Lesson #4 You can talk dirty outside the bedroom
Talking dirty doesn’t have to start in bed. You can start with sending sweet messages through mobile about your partner’s outfit that day, or say that you’re thinking about him.
Start a discussion and heat it up slowly by complimenting parts of his body or talking about a previous sexual encounter. If you started the sexting in the morning, you’re both hot and ready by the time he gets home!
Click “Continue reading” for more tips on how to talk dirty in bed.
Men don’t want to just enjoy sex, they want to know you’re enjoying too.
Lesson #5 Your partner wants to hear you talk dirty
Even if he hasn’t specifically said that he wants you to be more vocal in bed, he does. At the very least, your partner wants to know that you enjoy what he’s doing.
You can start by being a bit louder, letting your moans and gasps flow more freely. Keep in mind that men are not just enjoying sex—they want to know you’re enjoying it too. One of the most powerful turn-ons for your partner is knowing that you enjoy what he’s doing.
Lesson #6 Complement your dirty talk with body language and non-verbal cues
Something as simple as looking into his eyes while he takes you or while you’re engaged in foreplay can make your words even hotter. To help you get over your embarrassment or awkwardness, you can also punctuate your statements with sexy moves like grabbing his butt or raking your fingers down his back.
Lesson #7 Everyone flubs their lines
People who are good at dirty talk aren’t born like that. If you feel awkward or embarrassed, let it slide off and move on.
The best way to cover up a flubbed line is delivering a stellar performance afterwards. You can always erase the incident from his mind by doing something amazing. For all you know, he won’t even think you flubbed your line.
Dirty talk is just another form of intimacy.
According to studies, hearing, speaking or reading sexually-arousing text makes time go faster. Basically, people’s time perceptions are slightly different in states of arousal. Talking dirty heightens the sexual pleasure in bed and makes things faster and more intense.
So don’t be afraid to start talking filth to your partner in bed, ladies! He might actually be waiting for your cue to do so all this time.
What’s the sexiest thing you’ve ever said to your partner? Share it with us in the comments and let’s see who’s the most titillating talker.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Dana Santos
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