Just like everyone else, 2020 gave all of us mixed emotions and for me I experienced grief and pregnancy. It was loss, new life, and achievement for us. “Fickle just like the weather” is exactly how I would describe this year – pabago-bago.
The Start of 2020
We are a budding family who chose to move from the bustling city life to the peace and quiet that is the province. The start of 2020 was not the best. Our province was ravaged by a big storm which led me and my then 2-year-old to stay with my family in Manila so I can continue to work. It was good except that I did not realize this would be the last time I get to see my mother.
Image from iStock
During the peak of the pandemic, my mother’s health deteriorated. She had a longstanding kidney and liver disease prior to the pandemic but the virus going around around made it worse. She did not contract COVID-19 but it was the stress from being home-quarantined that made her mind and body give in.
Before she was hospitalized, I found out I was pregnant. Along with the pregnancy was a symptom that was new to me – hyperemesis gravidarum. This condition made me unable to keep any food or fluid down.
Dealing grief and pregnancy. | Image from iStock
To say that it was a difficult pregnancy was an understatement. It is something that I would not wish any pregnant woman to suffer from. I told my mother I may not be able to see her because of a few things – my condition.
The quarantine measures that were then in place both in Manila and in our province, as well as the fact that COVID-19 cases were on an exponential rise then. My mother would always be hospitalized, almost once every year but it never occurred to me that she would not be able to go home.
Dealing with Grief, Pregnancy, and a Toddler
Being in the province with little chance to go to Manila to see the remains of my mother was already heart-breaking as it is. Dealing with hyperemesis and a toddler made this even more challenging. It was a good thing that we found help. I was able to deal with my condition without having to think too much about chores.
I felt much better when I finally received news that I will be graduating this year. The original plan was to finish the degree within 2 years so that I could go back to the United Kingdom to work as a Radiologic Technology.
However, our first baby, Zephy, came and this plan got delayed. Even though it took me almost 5 years to complete a BS degree, we were able to make it this year. A BS degree at 32 years old may not be ideal for most people but I own this timeline and I am 100% proud of it.
It would have been better if my mother was here to celebrate this milestone with me. It was through her support and encouragement after all that made me push myself to do this course.
This news came with me recovering from Hyperemesis, finding out that our second baby is thriving, and my first born achieving milestones after another.
Still Being Hopeful
I will never ever forget the events that unfolded this 2020. Year 2020 taught me the very meaning of resilience and hope. I am sure a lot of people can relate to this but I just hope people can see beyond the challenges that 2020 has brought.
May all of us have a fruitful 2021 ahead!
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