An open letter to the mom whose child is having a tantrum in public

I was minding my own business when your child’s cries pierced through the silence of the restaurant. Everyone started watching you. Panicked, you apologize to us, as you try to calm your child down, who is now throwing the worst tantrum in public. She is in full meltdown mode. You try to distract her with a doll and some food, but nothing seems to be working. You try holding her but she pushes you away. I can sense that you are getting upset and frustrated. You’re a mom shouldn’t you be able to know how to calm your child down?

I want you to know that this has happened to even the best parents. Your child is still learning to deal with feelings and emotions. As a parent, it can also be overwhelming not to be able to instantly soothe your child. No parent wants to see their child hurting or upset, but sometimes it is necessary to leave them be. They need to learn how to manage emotions, but they also need to know you are there beside them.

photo: dreamstime

Please know that I am not judging you. Just because your child throws tantrums often, it does not make you a bad parent. It is all part of the journey. Life is difficult and as they grow, kids will cycle through happiness and sadness, but what matters is that you are there to hold them, to reassure them that they will always have your love and care and even if it does not seem like it now, everything will be okay in the end.

Just keep loving them, stretch your patience and show them that even when they are upset and frustrated with life, you still believe that they are good, capable kids. This knowledge will help them become the best possible versions of themselves. Knowing that they can be honest about feelings and that they are not an embarrassment will give them the security and comfort they need to navigate all the struggles life will bring.

READ: Temper Tantrums: Should you ignore or distract your child?