How to stop your child from telling little white lies!

Tips and tricks to get your child to stop lying!

As parents, we find it upsetting when our child lies to us, especially if they lie all the time. In an attempt to curb this bad habit, one must first understand why the child is lying before coming up with a plan to change this negative behavior.

Why children lie

One reason why children lie is due to their inability to shut off their imagination. Young children simply let their imaginations run wild and don’t know how to separate truths from non-truths. Some children also lie to avoid doing something they don’t want to do. "Yes, I brushed my teeth,” rolls easily off the tongue when a child is too engrossed in playing to go do something so mundane and ‘unnecessary.’

Why children lie

Children lie about doing their homework or their household chores. They usually do this for similar reasons, e.g. to avoid punishment. Children will sometimes lie to protect someone else.

How to curb lying tip#1

Children who lie because they are unable to turn off their imaginations and fantasy should not necessarily be punished but taught how to distinguish reality from fantasy.

If your child has trouble grasping this concept, limit the amount of fantasy they are exposed to until they can understand the difference. Lies told as a result of the reality/fantasy issues should be handled calmly, without making your child feel ashamed or fearful.

How to curb lying tip#2

When your child lies to get out of doing something he doesn’t want to do, the most effective way to curb the problem is to require him to do the ‘undesirable’ task several times consecutively.

For instance, if they call their sibling names, require them to spend time saying kind things to their sibling.

How to curb lying tip#3

When a child lies out of fear, it is important to first figure out the reason for their fear.

If they lie to avoid getting in trouble, stress that telling the truth will always be looked upon with favor and respect. On the other hand, lying will result in punishment for the lie, and for whatever was done in the first place.

How to curb lying tip#4

Lies told in order to protect someone may or may not be well-intentioned. When you catch your child in a lie of this sort, you need to determine who they are protecting and why they are doing so.

If the lie is told to help a friend stay out of trouble, similar disciplinary actions for lies told out of fear need to be taken.

If your child has been threatened in any way to lie for another person, you need to treat the situation compassionately. Remember that the fear of being harmed or bullied is real, so your child may be feeling a tremendous amount of fear and guilt.

Be your child's advocate and encourager

In all cases, be your child's advocate and encourager, letting him know you will always be there to protect him and to remind him that his trust in you and your trust in him is what really matters.

Remember, too, that lies told in haste (speaking before thinking) are usually simple, silly things that really aren’t worth lying about.

When this happens, don’t dwell on it — let it go and simply reinforce the positive aspects of telling the truth, reminding your child that yours is a home where only the truth is acceptable.

Encouraging truth

Always be truthful yourself. Never punish your child for telling the truth. Don’t be accusatory. Give your child the opportunity to ‘fess up’ in a non-threatening environment. Keep the conversation on the matter at hand, rather than placing blame and humiliating your child.

Encouraging truth

Don’t put your child on trial. Grilling her with questions only puts her on the defensive — when that happens, your child will tell you whatever they think you want to hear to get the conversation over with. Honor your child for telling the truth and let her know you respect her truthfulness and appreciate how hard it is to always be truthful.

Tips and tricks to get your child to stop lying!

What would you do if your child is lying all the time? Let us know by leaving a comment!

Article originally published on:

Written by

Darla Noble

English