In a speech during The Perfect Love Conference held last October at the Convention Hall of J. Centre Mall in Mandaue City, Cebu, actress and single mom Jodi Sta. Maria bravely opened up about her past drug use.
According to a report by Cebu Daily News, Jodi shared how her battle with addiction began when she felt she had to “suppress her emotions” from all the pain brought about by her marital problems as well as the pressures of showbiz.
“My life was such a mess na hindi ko alam kung saan ako magsisimula. Wala nang magmamahal sa akin kasi separada na ako, segunda mano,” she recalled of the time she separated from her husband Pampi Lacson, with whom she has a 10-year-old son.
“I even drank during tapings, ang gusto ko kasi masolusyunan ‘yung feeling ko of pain and emptiness.”
“When alcohol wasn’t enough, I turned to drugs. I felt empty. I pretended to be okay when the truth is hindi naman talaga. “
She recounted how she became an alcoholic before she became a workaholic.
“I even drank during tapings, ang gusto ko kasi masolusyunan ‘yung feeling ko of pain and emptiness. When alcohol wasn’t enough, I turned to drugs. I felt empty. I pretended to be okay when the truth is hindi naman talaga. I was in and out of bad relationships that left me all the more wounded and broken.”
Getting married when she was only 22 years old, Jodi admits she and her ex-husband Pampi Lacson didn’t really know each other all that well.
“The marriage lasted for five years. Siguro, inisip ko, nagpakasal kami at a very young age na we didn’t really know each other. Instead of bringing out the best in each other, it brought out the worst in us,” she recounted. “At that point, we could not protect Thirdy from the chaos in the home, so we decided to separate.”
Find out which fellow actress helped change her path on the next page
As the annulment process progressed, Jodi admits she “felt lost and broken” as she had to deal with the pain of having to relive all the gory details of their failed marriage to the court.
“My life was such a mess na hindi ko na alam kung saan ako magsisimula. I needed attention. I needed acknowledgment,” confided Jodi to the conference’s audience. “It even showed in the relationship I had with him. No matter how unhealthy and abusive, I stayed in the relationship because it felt okay, may nagmamahal sa akin at may nakakapansin.”
“I had a major concert abroad, sold-out, but backstage, I was crying. Fame and money were empty. There was nothing on top.”
It was devout Christian Coney Reyes who first invited her to attend a Christian church in 2010 but it was only four years later that Jodi decided to go.
“”Nahihiya na kasi ako, kasi ang tagal na niyang ini-invite ako, but there, dun ko nakilala ang Panginoon,” Jodi revealed. “Then ‘Be Careful with My Heart’ came. This teleserye was a major turning point in my life because I had everything—because I found Jesus. I had a major concert abroad, sold-out, but backstage, I was crying. Fame and money were empty. There was nothing on top.”
She eventually gave up her vices, crediting her newfound faith for giving her the strength and determination to do so.
“I have a newfound respect for my body now, and I have to take care of it. Maayos itong ibinibigay sa akin ng Panginoon, maayos ko din itong isasauli sa kanya.”
“I have a newfound respect for my body now, and I have to take care of it.”
READ: Are Jodi Sta. Maria and Jolo Revilla back together?
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