I learned that mom guilt is there no matter what kind of mom you are. Whether you are a corporate working mom, full time mom or mompreneur, you will experience guilt.
My story
I left my job in December 2016 because of mom's guilt and burnout. I was at the peak of my corporate career as Audit Manager of Emirates Airlines in DubaI.
I thought that becoming a full time mom and leaving my 16+ year career will remove all my “mommy guilt” but I was wrong.
When I became a full time housewife, I felt guilty for not being a good housewife and for not contributing to the finances of the family.
I started my own training and consulting company in 2018 but I felt guilty again as a mompreneur for not earning enough than I used to when I was employed.
I learned that guilt is always there no matter what kind of mom you are.
After working with more than 100 women of different nationalities, I learned that I am not alone. I learned that feeling guilty is one of the emotions that all moms share regardless of work, age, nationality or location.
What is mom guilt?
Mom guilt is the feeling of not doing enough as a parent, not doing things right, or not making the right decisions for your kids. Mom guilt is the “shoulds” and the “supposed to’s” in your mind. Mom guilt comes from personal insecurities and pressures from family, friends, social media, and society.
How to overcome mom guilt
I learned that guilt is an emotion that most moms share because your mind has a lot of unrealistic expectations that you set for yourself and expectations that you allow others to set on you.
On a live coaching call with one of our community members at Working Moms Academy, I shared 3 simple steps that every mom can follow to deal with mommy guilt.
Accept
Accepting the feeling of guilt without judgement whether it is a right or wrong feeling is the first step to overcome guilt.
To overcome guilt, you need to first understand where your guilt is coming from because guilt can only come from:
- The high expectations you set yourself
- The expectations of other people that you accepted like your husband, mom or mother in law’s expectation of you
I learned that nothing and no one can give you guilt unless you allow it.
Guilt is something internal and when you accept the fact that you can do something about your feeling of guilt, you will feel more powerful because it is within your control.
The next step is to understand what your guilt feeling is telling you to do by asking yourself empowering questions.
Ask
To manage your feelings of guilt, you need to start asking yourself empowering questions as Tony Robbins said “The quality of your life depends on the question you ask yourself”.
First, ask your kids and your partner about their thoughts on how you are performing as a wife and mother. I am sure that in the eyes of your family, you are the perfect wife and mom because in your family, nothing and no one can replace you.
Second, ask yourself, what is this guilt feeling telling you to do? What do you need to start doing more of? What do you need to stop doing?
This, ask your children and your family - what do they need more from you? How can you love them more?
Watch the recording of the live coaching now and discover more about how to manage mommy guilt and the power of asking the right questions.
Act
Action is the game changer in your life. To stop feeling guilty, start managing your time well because time is priceless. You can master your time and accomplish more by remembering the 4Ds of time management - Do, Delay, Delete or Delegate.
On the endless task of everyday, classify and prioritize your task so you can accomplish more
- Do and focus on what matters most to you in alignment to your top 3 values. These are things which are urgent and important
- Delay things that are important but not urgent like office task
- Delegate task which are urgent but are not important like house chores
- Delete and elimite task which are not urgent and not important like watching tv, checking social media
Here is an example of time management using 4D’s for moms.
If you want to discover more tips and tools on how to master your time and accomplish more, watch the recording of the live webinar of Working Moms Academy.
