It’s not easy for a parent to find out that their beloved child is suffering from a life-threatening disease. And for mommy Kaye Wenceslao, she was heartbroken when she discovered her daughter was diagnosed with biliary atresia, a condition that affects 1 in 10,000 babies.
Regardless of their struggles, Kaye and her husband are constantly hoping and praying for the best for their beloved daughter, Elle.
And to that end, Mommy Kaye wrote a letter dedicated to her daughter, telling her the story of their faith and love during a difficult time in their lives.
A mom’s letter to her daughter:
Dear Future Elle,
By the time you are reading this, I’m sure you are already perfectly healthy and enjoying life to the fullest! I want to take you back to this time in our lives and remind you of this story of HOW AWESOME OUR GOD IS and HOW MUCH HE LOVES YOU.
It was a big adjustment and a life changing decision for me to stop my career and be a full-time mommy. You made me miss “ME time” at coffee shops or nail salons, waking up late, and most of all: taking a bath for more than 10 minutes! But I would trade anything for every minute I get to spend with you. It was the BEST decision i have ever made and the BEST job I’ve ever had! You sometimes make me crazy but more than that, you make me crazy happy and crazy in love with you. ️
You’ve just turned 11 months old and I love talking to you more than ever. I tell you how I feel even when I get so sad and scared. But you just stare at me with your big, beautiful eyes as if you understand every word I say. I sometimes cry when I look at your eyes; you look so pure and innocent, unaware of the pain you’ll go through few months from now. We just recently started raising funds for your liver transplant and we’re praying to get it done before this year ends.
I write letters for you almost everyday. I write about my great love for you, and I plan to give these letters to you when you become a mommy someday so you’ll laugh at my funny mommy struggles. And when that time comes, you’ll know that even if it’s hard to be a first time mommy, you will be confident and fearless because my love will see you through.
When I was pregnant with you, mommy lost her job and we really struggled financially. I was always sad and worried about your future but the story of the prophet Elijah spoke to me during this time. Hence, we named you Elisha.
1 Kings 19:4-7 says: “And the angel of the Lord came again a second time and touched him and said, “Arise and eat, for the journey is too great for you.”
God spoke to me through this verse that no matter how depressing my situation is, I have to be spiritually strong. I need to be ready because there will be far greater challenge ahead, and so this was it. What a HUGE challenge indeed.
I just had ONE simple aspiration in life and that was to be a mommy!
When God gave you to daddy and I, everything was perfect in the world all of a sudden. I never knew such joy and such love existed.
But that joy was immediately snatched from us when we found out you have biliary atresia, a deadly disease. It hurts so bad that daddy and I would cry ourselves to sleep. We were so afraid of losing you.
There are mornings that I cry as soon as I wake up realizing that i will never get out of this nightmare no matter how much I “sleep it off.” There are days when I just cry the whole day, embracing you as much and as long as possible thinking I might not be able to hold you like I do now. I cry while staring at your pretty and girly clothes, afraid that you won’t be able to use them anymore.
Every day felt like a battle that I need to get out of alive. It was emotionally and physically draining to be in and out of different hospitals, seeing you in pain from all laboratory procedures, and receiving devastating news over and over, all these while keeping everything a secret to everyone, except for a few family members and friends.
I felt like I was being beaten up everyday and I was just rolling with the punches. But I knew I had to get it together, I had to be strong, I had to fight for your life, I had to believe that you’re going to survive. Because if I didn’t, who would? It is my foremost duty to believe in you, simply because I am your mother. Your sweet stares and sweet smiles tells me to fight for your life. You deserve to live and I will make sure to do everything to give you the life you deserve.
It took me five months to publicly share your story and ask for financial help because all along I thought a miracle would come if I just kept on asking God, if I just prayed harder. I believed that you would be healed without needing a transplant. That’s what I believed in because that’s what I wanted. So when the need for a liver transplant was finally confirmed, I was devastated.
But do you know what happens when you pray? God changes our hearts before He changes our situation. He aligns our hearts to His. It took me a long time to see that I was IN DENIAL, that I did not fully trust God’s plan. My fear hindered me from seeing that He is in full control of your life. I see now that I can never love you the way God loves you. You belong to Him. He created you. Daddy and I are just stewards of your life.
First thing that came to my mind when you were diagnosed was the story of Abraham and Isaac. “Is God asking me to sacrifice my child. SERIOUSLY?!”
And I immediately wanted to retreat, or disappear, just to avoid the discomforts of my reality. I know that it is during these times especially that I need to fix my eyes on God’s Word. But in the midst of suffering, this becomes harder and harder. Darkness makes it so easy for us to lose sight of the TRUTH. But I’m so grateful that JESUS is the light and He will always be greater than any darkness.
He patiently and intimately waits for us. No matter what emotions we are in. He pursues us. He always does, anak.
“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came (Jesus) that they may have life and have it abundantly.” John 10:10
So I fight everyday with the full armor of God, vigilant not to let the enemy steal, kill and destroy our happiness as a family. If doing anything and everything for you means waking up everyday with courage despite the overwhelming fear, I will strive to be the bravest person. Our joy will never be dependent on our situation. Because our joy is rooted in God alone.
I want you to know that Daddy and I NEVER questioned God or got mad at Him about your condition. We know what we signed up for as Christian soldiers when we said yes to our Lord and we want you to grow in the knowledge that our sole purpose as Christians is to glorify His name in everything.
He will restore these days. He will restore your health, He will restore your life. He will turn our mourning into dancing. I’m utterly sure because He said to me in my dream: “I WILL MAKE ALL THINGS NEW” just like how He said it in the Bible:
“He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” Then he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.” Revelations 21:5
I promise to make sure mommy’s arms will always be available every time you need refuge and escape from this world. As long as mommy is living, I will protect you and hug all the bad days away, no matter how old you get. Can’t wait to see you, future Elle, anak.
I love you fiercely.
P.S. Daddy and I pray for your future husband & family as early as now haha. Praying that you will live long to see your great-great grandchildren. ️
Those who are intrested in helping Elle can do so by going to the link below:
Photos screencapped from: facebook.com