Finding out that you’re infertile can be heartbreaking for a lot of would-be parents. Especially since there are a lot of doubts, fears, and misinformation that surrounds infertility as well as the treatments and the struggles that couples go through.
Here are a few things that moms who struggled from infertility want you to know:
1. Sometimes, the fix can be simple
Melissa Koebrugge, a mother from Maryland shared that she and her partner spent 2 years trying to conceive before having their first child. After visiting a clinic to undergo a procedure to clear her fallopian tubes for IVF, she surprisingly got pregnant through intercourse with her partner, without even undergoing the IVF procedure.
“I was supposed to start some medicine on the first day of my next period,” said Koebrugge. “However, I never got a period. Clear tubes meant a clear runway for the sperm…the procedure pushed through some sort of blockage,” she shares.
While it’s true that there are situations wherein the problem causing the infertility is complicated, there are also situations such as this wherein it’s a simple fertility problem that can easily be corrected. Don’t lose hope!
2. Know when to go through with treatments, and know when to stop
Jenn Tompkins from Pennsylvania share that she and her husband went through 9 miscarriages since 2010, all conceived naturally. However, she wishes that they went through with IVF sooner, as they didn’t realize that after the third miscarriage, that they would go through 6 more, and they still don’t have a child that they can call their own.
According to Dr. Janet Mclaren Bouknight: “How long a couple is willing to try to conceive, and what fertility treatments they are willing to try, is a very individualized decision. There comes a point, however, when fertility treatment has a very low likelihood of being successful and patients need to be informed of this fact and directed toward other family building options such as adoption and foster care.”
Having a child that you can call your own is an amazing feeling, but other options such as foster care and adoption are just as equally fulfilling, since you’re giving a future to a child who doesn’t have anyone that will take care of them.
3. Not all pregnancies are the same
Florida Mom Gina Yancey shared that when they were trying to have their first child, they had some trouble, and they went to a fertility clinic to help them become pregnant. But for their second child, it happened without any medical assistance.
“What’s really crazy is that our second daughter was an ‘oops’ two years later — basically first time we weren’t being careful. I always describe her as a gift from God we never knew we wanted.”
But for mom Rebekah Wilson, it was a bit different, since when they were trying to conceive their first child, they easily became pregnant, but she recently miscarried her second child, which was an ectopic pregnancy which resulted in her losing one of her fallopian tubes.
Women’s bodies change over time, and in some cases it can affect how quickly a woman can get pregnant. Which is why couples who are having a hard time conceiving a baby for the second time should try and seek help from medical professionals.
4. People mean well, but sometimes the things they say hurt
It’s reassuring to hear people say that they’re concerned about your pregnancy, and that they’re hopeful that you will get pregnant, but sometimes, their comments can hurt, even if they don’t mean it that way.
Dr. Bouknight shares, “For couples who have identified the underlying cause of their infertility — such as a very low sperm count or blocked fallopian tubes — the couple knows that relaxing will not fix their problem. Suggesting that they relax also implies that their concerns are not important, and for many, having children is extremely important.”
So, just keep your cool, and know that people mean well. If their comments hurt too much, then there’s nothing wrong with talking to them about it.
5. You’re not alone
The most important thing to know is that you’re not alone. A lot of couples out there are going through the same struggles as you, and it really helps to look for support groups that cater to couples going through infertility.
It’s an uphill struggle, but surrounding yourself with people who understand and who also share their experiences can be reassuring, and can sometimes be the push that you need so that you can go on with the treatments and think positively about the future.
Source: today.com
READ: “Don’t give up”: One couple’s powerful incredibly infertility story
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