Why nagging never works and what you need to do instead

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Worse still, nagging almost always drives a wedge between couples, creating a negative environment in which neither party could grow.

Everyone has at one point or another in their life has nagged or been at the receiving end of nagging. Couples know this, married couples and couples who have been in a long term relationship particularly.

You do it to spur your partner into action, but did you know that nagging never works? One wants to do one thing, the other wants to do another, pushing themselves into a standstill.

Unfortunately, very little people know this, and as a result their nagging falls onto deaf ears, which causes more nagging, which then creates a cycle from which no one benefits.

Worse still, nagging almost always drives a wedge between couples, creating a negative environment in which neither party could grow.

Contrary to popular belief, nagging isn’t inherently bad. Most of the time the reason behind nagging is to achieve a positive outcome, done with the best of intentions. Nagging then becomes a problem when it is delivered and communicated poorly.

Couple Aaron and April Jacob from Family Share offer three little things that you can do to turn nagging into something that is positive.

Let it go

“If whatever is bothering you is actually inconsequential in the bigger scheme of things, then let it go. Part of being married is loving each other…warts and all. You have to pick your battles; and, let's face it, some battles simply aren't worth the fight. Sometimes you just need to keep your rose-colored glasses on, bite your tongue and let it go.”

Utilize more positive and effective communication skills

“Learn to communicate in more positive and effective ways,” the couple said.

Neither party should ignore problems or differences of opinion in the relationship, but “there are much better and more effective ways to promote change and improvement in your spouse than by constant nagging.”

Be sensitive to your spouse's needs

“It's so easy to find fault with your spouse or to only focus on the things they do that bother you.”

Be better than that.

“Practice being sensitive to your spouse's needs by paying attention to their emotional temperature. Care more about how your spouse is doing and how their day went, than all the other things that are bugging you. Catch your spouse doing good, and compliment him or her often instead of focusing on anything negative."

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Also read: Can nagging help children grow up to become their best selves?

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Written by

James Martinez

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