What can you read in this article?
- Cry-it-out method in sleep training
- Moms shares how they train their baby to sleep.
- Is sleep training necessary?
- Debunking other myths about sleep training
A big part of parenting is the way you sleep train your baby. For new parents, letting your baby “cry-it-out” is unfathomable but many people have adopted this method as an effective way to sleep train.
theAsianparent Community user Samantha B. was more curious, however, about those who don’t believe in the method.
“I believe babies cry for a reason and letting them cry it out makes them feel insecure.”
screengrab: theAsianparent Community
Mom Jamie K wrote who has one daughter, “I am one of those people.”
“I believe babies cry for a reason and letting them cry it out makes them feel insecure. They’ll sleep, but only because they’re exhausted from all that crying.”
Linda X. agrees. “I also don’t believe in the cry it out sleep training method too,” she writes. “Same as Jamie, I think in the long run, babies will grow up to be insecure, unconfident and may affect the development.”
Linda also cited an article that saddened her about a “silent orphanage” where babies simply give up on crying because no one ever comes to soothe them. “If we allow our babies to also cry to sleep, yes, they may eventually learn to be quiet and sleep. But how different are they from these poor orphans?”
Cry-it-out sleep training method | Image from Shutterstock
For Uma J., crying is the only communication babies have when they are in discomfort and, therefore, it can’t be ignored.
“I personally don’t believe in cry-it-out-sleep,” wrote the mom. “It just means that you haven’t responded to his discomfort call and let him continue to experience his pain and get exhausted and finally fall asleep.”
Her approach is after feeding, she plays a lullaby in the background and stays with her son, tapping him lightly until he falls asleep.
“I only believe a mother’s instinct and she will know the best suitable method for the baby.”
“I also don’t believe in the cry it out sleep training method,” writes L.K. Ng. “I only believe a mother’s instinct and she will know the best suitable method for the baby.”
Mom Pamela P. fears that if she tries this sleep training method. Her child will trust her less because she is not there at times of distress.
“This is the method that parents give in to when the baby is a little older…”
“This is the method that parents give in to when the baby is little older and they know that it is not some physical problem that is ailing them but that’s a kind of crying bout,” writes Chetna J.
Adding that parents tend to get exhausted when trying to calm their baby down but nothing works. So, in these instances, this sleep training method could work.
“Personally, I have resorted to this method just once,” she recounts. “It makes you feel guilty later for letting the baby cry for long and you have to be little more stern that you already may be.”
Cry-it-out method. | photo: Dreamstime
The Baby Sleep Site clarifies what the Cry-it-Out method means exactly. They first start by listing down what the Cry It Out method isn’t:
- Cry it out is not a replacement for feeding when your baby can not comfortably sleep all night without food.
- It is not meant to be used when the baby is wet, hungry, very sick, in pain, et cetera.
- Does not mean leaving your baby in a room alone, closing the door, and ignoring them.
- It should not be viewed as a replacement for parenting when the baby needs it.
They also clarified exactly what the method is. Allowing the baby to “Cry-it-Out” is a sleep training method designed to break poor sleep associations (such as nursing them until they fall asleep). It is also focused on setting limits on what you will and won’t allow your baby to do (during nap time, all night, etc.).
Sleep training, in its broadest sense, refers to any approach used by parents to urge their newborns to sleep at night. Which can be as basic as establishing a nighttime routine or learning to recognize an infant’s sleepiness cues.
Is sleep training necessary?
Wendy Hall, a Canadian pediatric sleep researcher, examined 235 families with six- to eight-month-old kids in 2015. The goal was to see if sleep training was effective.
Hall and her colleagues expected that after six weeks. Babies whose parents were given sleep training instructions and guidance would sleep better than those who were not, with ” significantly longer longest sleep periods and significantly fewer night wakes.”
Some moms reported that sleep training improved their newborns in the short term in another long-term study on sleep training. But not all of them.
Controlled sobbing was found to be useful by 84% of those who used it and camping out was found to be helpful by 49% of those who tried it. And for those who did find sleep training to be beneficial, the advantages didn’t always stay.
This isn’t to say that sleep training won’t work for all babies. It also implies that for those families who did find sleep training to be successful, it is typically necessary to repeat the process for the results to stay.
READ MORE:
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Can you spoil a baby by holding them too much?
Baby Crawling: A guide for parents on this major milestone
Debunking other myths about sleep training
There has been no influence on a baby’s attachment or mental health in the few studies that have looked at the short- to long-term results of sleep training.
Sleep-trained children were no more likely than their classmates to be insecurely attached to their caregiver at six years of age, according to Hiscock’s study, which was the largest and longest longitudinal study on the subject.
The moms of sleep-trained kids were less likely to be depressed when the baby was two years old, according to Hiscock’s research. The mental health of a parent may have an impact on the infant’s sleep patterns: a small study utilizing actigraphy indicated that depressed mothers were more likely to have newborns who slept poorly. Insecure attachment can also be worsened by a parent’s poor mental health.
Cry-it-out method | Image from Shutterstock
Will the baby learn to sleep without sleep training?
You can’t train a human being to sleep — we are built to sleep. It takes time for a newborn’s circadian system to mature, but after five months or so, a baby is capable of long stretches of nighttime slumber.
He’s become more conscious and in control, with the fine motor skills to find her fingers or thumb, and maybe even the gross motor skills to roll into her favorite sleep position.
We don’t “learn” to sleep, because it’s programmed deep in the brain, but we do “learn” sleep habits. Babies can learn helpful ones, like grabbing their loveys and falling asleep in their cozy cribs in a good sleeping environment, or unhelpful ones, like falling asleep while being nursed or bounced on a yoga ball.
The helpful habits let a baby’s natural sleep skills shine. The unhelpful ones create the pattern of baby reaching externally for soothing back to sleep — meaning you hear from her throughout the night. Parents are the ones who needs training.
How to get your baby to sleep without being held
Cry-it-out sleeping training method. | photo: Dreamstime
He may soon reach this milestone on his own. Or he may need a little help from you to learn how to put yourself to sleep all night, not just at bedtime. Every human has a sleep cycle, which makes him/her a little awake at night. We all need to learn how to get back to deep sleep.
If you want to get good sleep habits early on, you should start by helping your baby fall asleep again. However, you must take small steps. Here’s how to do it.
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Don’t keep your baby awake for too long
Paying attention to your baby’s tired signals is one of the best methods to ensure he/she isn’t awake for too long. For example, if he/she yawns more than three times, he’s/she’s overtired, so put him/her to sleep as soon as he/she yawns.
Another technique to make sure he/she isn’t overtired is to keep an eye on the time. Keep track of when he wakes and don’t allow him/her stay awake for more than a particular amount of time.
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Put your baby to sleep but awake
He’ll/She’ll get to fall asleep away from your arms, and he’ll/she’ll finally wake up in the sleep environment. He’ll/She’ll also realize that he doesn’t need to be held to fall asleep.
Again, he’s/she’s become so used to falling asleep in your arms that any other method feels weird to him/her. By putting him/her down sleepy but awake on a regular basis, he/she learns that it’s also fine to fall asleep that way.
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Put your baby to sleep in a comfortable place
After spending so much time in the womb, babies feel safe in small spaces. While the crib is the best place to put your baby to sleep, many parents have had better results in other, snugger places. These give you the secure sensation of being “cupped” and held in your arms.
Image from Shutterstock
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Keep the crib mattress warm
Place a heating pad or a warm water bottle on the crib a few minutes before you plan to put him/her down to make the bed even more inviting. Of course, double-check that the bed isn’t excessively warm.
Another alternative is to raise the room’s temperature before putting him/her down so that he/she doesn’t become too cold.
It’s possible to ease him/her out of your arms while keeping his crib warm.
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Stroke your baby’s face with your hand
Stroke his/her cheek and forehead till his/her eyes close after putting him/her down awake. Perhaps you stroke his/her brows or trail your finger from the bridge of him/her nose to the top of his head. From his nose to his ear, gently stroke his cheeks.
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After putting your baby down, keep your hands on him
Put her/him down right before she/he falls asleep but keep your cradling arm wrapped around her/his body and the other hand on her/his chest. If you’re able, keep your chest lightly contacting her/him, as if you’re still hugging and holding her/him lying down.
Slowly remove and slide your cradling arm from underneath her/his as she/he drifts off to sleep while maintaining your other hand on her/his tummy. Finally, take the other hand away from her so she may sleep alone.
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If your baby is fussy, use a pacifier
Instead of waiting until he’s crying uncontrollably, put the pacifier in his mouth as soon as you notice him squirming or becoming upset.
Then, while holding the pacifier in his mouth, keep your hand on him so he can still feel you. This will remind him of your presence while also encouraging him to suck on the pacifier and go asleep.
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Use music or white noise to relax
Play music when you nurse at night, so he learns to associate it with relaxation and sleepiness. Then put him down with the music on and let him sleep. With the music still playing nearby, I’m hoping he’ll fall asleep.
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Allow your baby to sleep when awake
If your baby goes from asleep to awake after you set him down. Don’t feel obligated to pick him up again. Even if he’s awake, let him lie down. If he starts to fuss, you can give him a pacifier or simply let him try to comfort himself.
“The act of crying does nothing to teach baby to sleep and it won’t change his personality,” clarifies the site. “Cry ‘it’ out is simply letting baby find his own way to fall asleep and allowing him to cry out his frustration about not being able to get that pacifier replaced for the 10th time. None of us get better at something without practice.”
With additional information from Matt Doctor
