10 Things parents of well-adjusted children never say

10 Things Parents of Well-Adjusted Children Never Say

When communicating with our children, we should keep in mind that our words matter. The golden rule, according to Inc, is to "validate, label, and normalize."

Here are some phrases we should steer clear of, as compiled by Inc.

1. "Stop crying! Be a man!"

Though you might simply be trying to comfort your kids, teaching them to stop expressing their emotions could lead to emotional problems like anxiety and depression. It’s understandable that your kid’s crying would drive you to the edge of your patience, but keep in mind that that they haven’t learned how to process their emotions yet—this is where you come in.

Instead of yelling at your kids, teach them how to process their feelings and set a good example by keeping calm.

Take your cue from this man’s book: %

2. “That’s not very ladylike.”

Some girls just aren’t as feminine as others—and that’s alright. By telling your daughters that they should only act a certain kind of way because of their gender, you are not only limiting them, you are also telling them that they don’t live up to a standard that, really, is based on little else than societal norms.

(Photo: Shutterstock)

3. “Boys will be boys.”

By telling your kids that boys can get away with almost anything just because they’re boys…

you're teaching your sons that they can behave badly and not have to face consequences you're teaching your daughters that they should expect that men treat them badly

In sum, this phrase reinforces %

4. “You’re too sensitive.”

Telling your child that their emotions aren’t valid teaches them that there’s something wrong with them. Out of fear of being judged, they might also stop sharing their feelings with you.

5. “Give them a taste of their own medicine! Hit them back!”

Gandhi once said that "an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.” There’s nothing wrong with being assertive, but violence is a whole different matter. Teach your kid to stand up for himself without resorting to violence.

(Photo: Dreamstime)

6. "Don’t eat that, you’ll get fat."

Studies have shown that commenting on your child's weight could have long-term effects on their emotional and physical health. Instead of focusing on their weight, encourage them to eat healthier by modeling healthy eating habits yourself.

7. "I feel fat."

If you want your kids to have a healthy self-image, you have to model that as well by not talking yourself down or obsessing over your weight. By showing them that you’re self-conscious about your weight, that teaches them that they should be concerned with the way they look as well.

(Photo: Fotolia)

8. "You're fine."

If your child is clearly upset, telling them that they don’t have a problem tells them that their feelings aren’t important. They might not know exactly what’s upsetting them, but instead of playing it down and telling them to get over it, give them time to process things and understand where their negative feelings are coming from.

(Photo: Dreamstime)

9. "Why can't you be more like your brother/sister?"

Playing favorites is a no-no, and comparing your kids is a surefire way to encourage sibling rivalry and create animosity between your kids.

(Photo: Fotolia)

10. I'm ashamed/disappointed in you.

When talking to your child about their bad behavior, you must make sure that you’re communicating the right message: you have a problem with the behavior, not your child. Telling your child that you’re disappointed in them makes them ashamed of who they are, not of what they’ve done.

(Photo: Fotolia)

READ: Never forget to say these 9 things to your children

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Written by
Cristina Morales

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