Of course, you don’t want wanna hear people saying that you have a “spoiled child”. But do you know the signs of a spoiled child?
Every child has their own unique behavior
Children can act nice, respectful, and friendly then one day they’re not. However, it is not normal if those unwanted kinds of behavior are going on constantly. It may be because they are starting to show signs of a spoiled child.
A spoiled child is a term aimed at children who are showing behavioral problems. It can be developed from parents and guardians who gratify their children’s desires to an excessive extent. Everything revolves around their wants, needs, concerns, and feelings, then everyone is just in second place.
But how do you know your child is spoiled?
7 signs of a spoiled child
1. Kids are never satisfied with what they have
Even though your children already have a lot of toys and clothes, some of them might demand and say “I want more”. Instead of saying thank you, they tend to think about what they should get next. This may develop unappreciated behavior in your children.
“If your child feels strongly that they need everything they desire, from a snack to the newest iPhone, they may not learn the valuable life skill of distinguishing a want from a need, and will frequently experience disappointment and frustration when their wishes aren’t fulfilled” Therapist Virgina Williamson said,
2. Does not want to lose in any competition
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Children do cry often whenever they lose on certain things, but for spoiled children, it is a different case. They may have a tougher situation while managing their disappointment.
For some kids, offering chocolate or candies might be enough after losing. The offering of treats is not enough for spoiled children.
Spoiled children tend to:
- Blame other kids for their poor performance
- Wanted to hear praises for everything they do
- Be angry at people who do not want to follow their way
- Refuse to accept that they lose and congratulate the others
“If your child is always blaming others for poor performance, expecting to be singled out for praise for everything they do, yells at others who aren’t doing things their way and fails to give recognition when their teammates or competitors are successful, you may have a spoiled child on your hands” Williamson explained.
3. Not wanting to hear ‘no’ from their parents
Most children desire of hearing ‘yes’ from their parents, but there are times when they say ‘no’. Throwing tantrums and sudden meltdown is possible for spoiled kids.
Behavior therapist Jessica Leichtweisz, CEO of Hope Education Service says,
“The best measure of determining whether or not a child is spoiled is how well they cope with being denied access to something they want”
She also explained that tolerating ‘no’ is like building a muscle,
“The more kids hear it, the better they get at it.”
This type of behavior is typical for kids, but if this continues while they grow up, then your child must be really spoiled.
4. Does not do household chores
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Refusal of simple tasks is one of the common signs of a spoiled child. They might not do their parent’s orders unless they ask for toys, treats, or just anything they want.
Doing chores is important because it will teach them how to take care of themselves and others when they grow up.
There are age-appropriate tasks for children so parents should teach them to do helpful tasks.
5. Your child is being self-centered
Some children might think that the world only revolves around them. Sometimes, they feel entitled and think that the people around them would give them what they want. Spoiled children expect others to give them special favors.
Williamson explained that if a child continues to have a hard time calming themselves down, being patient, or working towards compromise, this can indicate that your child is spoiled.
6. They don’t play well with their peers
Spoiled children often distance themselves from their peers. They don’t get along well because things are not going in their ways.
Clinical Psychologist, Lori Whatley explained that it is important for children to get along with others.
“Working well with others is a major part of life, so helping our kids learn this early in life is a plus. It is our responsibility as parents to help them learn this”
7. Lack of respect
If they talk to you with no manners and respect, then it is a concern. They may also talk down to their friends as if they are the one’s ruling.
“A child who is spoiled, largely through no fault of their own, believes that they wield the same power in the family as their parents, and will often speak to them in a dismissive or disrespectful way,” says Williamson.
6 tips for parents to ‘un-spoil their children
Be prepared for the transition as you may experience deep resistance from your child. Let your kids cry and feel upset. Dr. Laura Markham explained that parents should empathize, while at the same time holding their limit and the expectation that their child will be able to handle their limit.
1. Teach them how to save money
Kids should learn the value of money, teach them young. Children must realize that money is earned by working hard. Parents are responsible for teaching their kids about money and how to use it.
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Sam X Rennick, co-creator of Sammy Rabbit, a children’s character and financial literacy initiative said,
“Saving teaches discipline and delayed gratification. It teaches goal setting and planning. Saving stresses being prepared. Most importantly, it builds security and independence”
Help your kids get into saving like giving them piggy banks. As they grow up, they will know the meaning of money to grown-ups.
2. Remember that kids respond to encouragement, not punishment
Encouragement helps your children nurture their sense of self and confidence. Parents should show their children how to think and talk positively about themselves.
By doing this, you’re helping your child learn how to recognize when they do well and feel proud of themselves. It also develops other qualities such as patience, concentration, self-help, cooperation, self-discipline, and self-trust.
3. Teach them how to say ‘thank you‘
According to Williamson, if a child cannot express gratitude, then it is a sign that they feel entitled to everything happening around them and the things that are given to them.
A child who is grateful tends to spend less time comparing themselves with others and feel envious. Saying thank you is also a sign of respect, and it will show kids that they appreciate things that are given to them no matter what it is. Experiencing gratitude promotes social connections and develops kindness.
4. Sharing is caring
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They should learn the value of sharing with others so they won’t grow up selfish. Children must be generous whether letting their friends or sibling play with their toys or donating clothes and teddy bears that they can no longer use to charities.
“While it’s normal for kids to be egocentric at certain ages and have difficulty parting with things that are very important to them, then your child should be able to demonstrate generosity,” says Williamson.
These small acts of kindness can teach your child that there are those who are less fortunate than themselves and that they can make a difference in people’s lives.
5. Give them a balanced amount of attention
Equal attention gives your child a sense of security and feels valued. It is important for children’s development and self-image. If they have siblings make sure you monitor the amount of attention you give to them. Make sure that you always connect to how they think and feel.
6. Show them what is a ‘want’ and a ‘need’
“If your child feels strongly that they need everything they desire, from a snack to the newest iPhone, they may not learn the valuable life skill of distinguishing a want from a need, and will frequently experience disappointment and frustration when their wishes aren’t fulfilled,” Williamson explained.
Things are hard-earned; it would be best to show your child its value. It would also give them a sense of working hard towards their goal and dreams in the future.
To parents,
According to Michele Borba, an Educational Psychologist,
“Remember there is no gene fo spoiled. It is a learned behavior that can be unlearned – and the quicker, the better.”
