Because children’s minds are impressionable, the things they see and hear and learn early in life has a lasting effect on their character as an adult. This is why it is important to be mindful of the things you say to your children.
Michele Coronetti of Family Share lists down seven things you should always be mindful of saying to your children.
Lies
Often times parents resort to tricking their children into doing something they do not particularly enjoy doing. This is bad parenting.
“Telling them things such as “It won’t hurt,” or other similar lies” is detrimental to cultivating a good moral compass in children.
“Remember that you are an example and a model to your children. If you tell lies, they, too, will start to lie.”
Always saying “yes”
“Any responsible man or woman wants what is best for those they care for,” Michele says. “Love, however, is not measured in things but rather through limits placed and attention given.”
Labelling your children
Michele likens children to sponges: they will absorb what’s around them, particularly the labels parents assign them. If you always tell your child that he is fat or ugly or stupid, even in an affectionate manner, sooner or later he will become those things.
Comparisons
“When you compare, using phrases such as, ‘your brother is better than you,’ ‘your friend does this well,’ ‘why aren’t you more like Susie, over there?’ your children’s egos are damaged. When this happens, low self-esteem and rebellion take root.”
Criticisms
However little and insignificant it may be, criticizing your children’s work does more harm than good.
Instead, Michele suggests that parents should instead comment on their children’s victories and avoid condemning their study, work, appearance, friends or choices.
Saying things you don’t want to hear
“This includes swearing, off-color humor, severe scolding, talking bad about others, complaining about everything or anything else that you find downgrading or despicable.”
Placing blame
“If the house is a mess, your child is probably the one responsible and you handle the situation without direct or indirect accusations,” says Michelle. “Harmony will reign in your home, and your future will be even brighter.”
READ: 6 ways parents contribute to their child’s anxiety
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