25 things you should never say to your husband!

One of the reasons why couples fight a lot is because of the things being said to each other. Wives, here are things you should never say to your husband!

25 things you should never say to your husband

One of the reasons couples often fight is because the wife may have said something, whether unintentionally or intentionally, that makes the husband feel emasculated. Avoid unnecessary marital problems and avoid these 25 things you should never say to your husband!

"Change your shirt."

You may be hurting your husband's feelings by telling him he can't dress well. Instead of boldly suggesting he change his shirt, you could tell him that you prefer a different shirt but that it's completely up to him!

"Just leave it, I'll do it myself."

Your husband may not be able to load the dishwasher the exact same way you do, but it doesn't mean he's not helping. By dismissing him you will make him feel like he doesn't matter and isn't of any help. So allow him to do whatever he does, his way.

"Watch the kids tonight, but don't do this..."

Instructing your husband when it comes to your kids can tick him off. Your husband is as much of a parent as you are, and your instructions will make him feel insignificant. So try not to give him instructions like you would to a child or employee, and try not to check on him every five minutes. Learn to trust him and chances are, all will go well.

"You never..."

Generalizing what your husband "never" does will make him feel useless and like a failure. If you have issues with something your husband consistently fails to do, it's better to sit down and talk to your husband rather than yell at him.

Read: Emotionally intelligent couples have stronger marriages

"I'm fat."

Your husband could get annoyed if you're always complaining about your weight to him. At some point, he will stop responding to your cry for compliments.

Read: 10 things you should never say to your wife

"I'm fine."

When something is wrong, and your husband is trying to talk to you about it, that is the time to open up to him. Lying and telling him that everything is "fine" will just irritate him and possibly make him regret trying to help you.

Read: Why forgiveness is key to a strong marriage

"I don't know, you decide."

When deciding where to eat, what movie to watch, or what channel to switch to, it's easy to just pass the decision-making over to your spouse. This can annoy your spouse, because it is meant to be a mutual decision. So instead, try to simply agree on one thing together.

Read: Simple secrets to keep your marriage fresh

"I should have never married you."

When having an argument, it is easy for such a phrase to slip out. However, this could lead to a much deeper argument. This statement could hurt your husband greatly, even though you didn't mean it and only said it in the heat of a fight.

"I don't want to go out with your friends."

It is normal for wives to not always like their husband's friends, but making the effort from time to time to get to know his friends and socialize with them is something he'll appreciate tremendously.

"When are you going to get a job?"

Getting a job is a tough process, and your support is highly needed. Instead of badgering him and asking why he hasn't found a job yet, you should talk to your husband about it in a calm manner and try to help him rather than annoy him.

Read: Tips for married couples on how to get out of debt

"What is wrong with you?"

This question may automatically pop into your head whenever your husband commits a mistake or fails to do something that you’ve asked him to do. It is best that you refrain from blurting this out, however, because asking your spouse what is wrong with him is a swift way to chip away at his confidence.

Read: Study: Men Don’t Hear Baby’s Cries At Night

Instead, try to express your frustration in a more constructive way. Using words as an attack, whether you mean to or not, will only create tension between the two of you.

"You are pathetic."

Instead of resorting to name calling, make it a habit to talk your feelings out with your spouse. Explain to him how you are feeling and what you think could make the situation better, and work it out from there.

"Let me show you how to do it"

Your methods may be effective for you, but that doesn’t guarantee that they will work for someone else. When you are asking your spouse to do a certain task, give him the freedom to go about it as he thinks best. If you are unsure about his approach, offer to help out if needed, but do not impose.

"You need to start working out."

Between work, the family, and bills to pay, your spouse may no longer be able to find time to take care of himself physically. If the issue is his health, then encourage him to take up an exercise routine and eat healthier meals by doing the same. In this case, your choice of words could make a huge difference.

Read: How to cook rice and cut down its calories by 60 per cent

"Don’t touch me!"

Intimacy is an important part of marriage, and whether you and your spouse are in the best of terms, try not to reject him when he seeks physical contact from you.

If you really are in no mood for sexy time, give him a hug and a kiss instead and explain how worn out you are from the day, or how you aren't in the mood because of the argument you had recently but how it's only temporary.

Read: Sex tips for wives: What to do when you’re too tired for sex

"Is this all you did?"

Over the course of one day, it may feel like you are able to accomplish a million and one things. Being tired or overwhelmed may tempt you to compare what’s on your plate with what your husband has achieved in the day.

Read: The Magic Of Appreciation

Remember that, while it may seem that you are taking on more than he is, he also tries his best to help out. If you feel like he really is falling short when it comes to pulling his weight, ask for help instead of questioning what it is he has done.

"What were you thinking?"

People make mistakes, and whenever husbands do, wives can be quick to judge. "What were you thinking,” is a normal reaction that you may have to your spouse’s slip-up, but unless he asks for your opinion on how he chose to manage a situation, keep it to yourself.

In case he does ask you what you think or feel about how he supposedly solved a problem, choose your words wisely. No good can come out of kicking a man while he is down.

"We are not buying that."

Your husband has needs and wants to, just like you do. Every once in a while, give him a break and avoid making a fuss if he wants to treat himself to something that may not be "practical," especially if he has been working extra hard to provide for the family.

Just try to keep him in check in case what he is eyeing is way beyond your budget, or is something that you foresee will become clutter in your home later on. Rather than telling him straight out that he cannot buy it, though, talk to him about why you feel it may not be worth spending on.

"I wish you made more money."

As long as the basic needs of your family are met, there should be no reason for you to say this to your spouse. [Um...I feel this is something not to be said MORE SO if there IS financial struggle?] After all, it won’t hurt to sacrifice your weekly manicure to ensure that your family is able to eat three square meals a day.

Instead of complaining about how little you feel your husband is making, explore ways on how you can contribute to the household budget in order to afford whatever little luxuries you crave.

"My ex used to do it this way."

It is never healthy to bring comparisons from a previous relationship into your current one, most especially comparisons involving your husband and an ex.

Your former lover may do some things better, but you should remember that you and your ex broke up for a reason. Keep in mind that the man you are with now is the one you chose―and for good reason, too! Remember those reasons when things get tough.

"Why can’t you be more like _____?"

How would you feel if your husband constantly compared you to somebody else? If anything, it would most likely feel like you are not enough, which is the message that this statement sends. Rather than finding fault in your spouse, focus on his good traits instead.

"You’re just like your father."

This statement is harmless when it is said in a positive light. However, it becomes bad for your marriage when you're basically accusing your husband of having his father's shortcomings.

Remember that it would hurt your spouse deeply when you accuse him of displaying the same characteristics that he himself struggled with as his father’s son.

"I hate it when you ___."

In times of difficulty, it really is easier to notice the negative things over the positive. However, a little optimism and learning to look at the brighter side of things can do wonders for a marriage.

Instead of telling him the things you dislike, let him know which ones you love among the things that he does. When you treat your spouse well, you have a better chance of him treating you nicely, too.

"If you really loved me, you would…"

Saying this is synonymous to questioning how deep your spouse’s love for you really goes. While he may have to say no to you once or twice, or even more often than that, trust that this is not due to a lack of love for you. It's also juvenile and insulting emotional bribery that has no place in a mature and loving relationship.

"You just don’t get it."

There will be days when it seems like your husband doesn’t speak the same language that you do, but when you tell him that he doesn’t get it, it is as if you are brushing him off.

Instead of doing this, carefully explain your side to him, without getting upset as much as possible. You may be surprised at just how much he does understand you after all.

25 things you should never say to your husband

Article originally published on: theAsianparent.com

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GypeBrene

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