Sometimes the hubby comes home angry for a reason that doesn’t involve you. But since you’re the one to ask how his day went, chances are you’ll end up on the receiving end of his angry streak.
When this happens, stay calm and leave him be. No one is his usual self when he is angry.
On the heels of our Malambing ways to deal with your child’s negative behavior, comes our malambing ways to deal with your husband’s.
1. Be his friend
When men are in a bad mood, they usually keep silent. Sometimes, they confide in their friends. This is because friends can be more objective about the matter, not having a role in the family.
So you might want to put on the best friend hat for a moment and talk as equals, not as mom and dad or even husband and wife. Solve his problems with him instead of for him.
As the book ‘Boiling Point: Understanding Men and Anger’ by Stephen Arterburn and David Stroop points out, “If you find yourself playing a mothering role to the man in your life, he will never fully deal with the causes and crisis of his anger.”
Read on for more loving ways to curb your husband’s temper.
2. Highlight his good qualities
If your husband got upset from something that happened at work, or perhaps he just does not enjoy the work that he does and gets really tired from it, ease his burden by giving him compliments about his positive attributes and skills.
Tell him that he’s the best husband or father in the whole world and that you appreciate having him in your life.
We tend to criticize when we’re being criticized, so stay lovingly on his side, as he is the one in need of a positive boost.
Read on for more loving ways to curb your husband’s temper.
3. Let him have his space and time.
Most men do not want to be bothered when they are feeling low, especially since the wife’s presence is a reminder of “responsibilities”.
Male psychologists say that men feel intimidated when their partners cannot accept them fully, including their mistakes.
How do you show concern about his situation then? Let him know that you are available to listen and talk when he is ready.
Perhaps you could book him a massage or hand him a beer and his favorite snack. Give him the break that he needs to dispel his anger.
Read on for more loving ways to curb your husband’s temper.
4. Make love, not war
When your husband has a hot temper, overpower him with love and forgiveness.
Just step back, breathe, and give him space when his anger hurts you. This will allow him to map out his thoughts and feelings and hopefully change his behaviour.
Unless his rage reaches the point of endangering you and your children, just stay by his side and support his healing.
Sometimes, bad tempers can be eased in the bedroom. Lovemaking will lift his mood, and you can follow it with a soul-baring conversation in bed.
Read: 15 Reasons Why Sex is Good for Your Health
As a Filipino saying goes, “Pagdating sa huli, sa kama rin ang hantungan nyan.” Do not underestimate the power of sexual intimacy.
The next time your husband is in a bad mood, cheer him up as best you can and believe with your whole heart that things will get better.
If you have any insights, questions or comments regarding the topic, please share them in our Comment box below. Like us on Facebook and follow us on Google+ to stay up-to-date on the latest from theAsianparent.com Philippines!
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