There are many reasons for getting into a marriage, but according to Emily Cummings’s Family Share article, if you’re tying the knot for the wrong reasons, then you’re in for an unpleasant surprise.
Most often than not, it won’t be fixed. Especially if your reason is any or a combination of any of these 5.
1. Feeling lonely
Many people in committed relationships still feel lonely, while there are people who have no families or have not had significant others in their lives who do not feel so. Having a husband or wife won’t guarantee that your loneliness will be lifted.
“If you are feeling depressed and lonely before marriage, chances are that will continue into your marriage,” says Emily. “Realize the problem and do what’s necessary to get you feeling independent rather than lonely before you put on that white dress.”
2. Your life goals
“If your goals in life start with, ‘when I get married, then I can…’, adjust your mindset,” says Emily. “You don’t need a spouse to get started on your bucket list.”
Although, yes, it would be great to do something with your spouse, travel, say, you don’t have to wait for a significant other to do it. Don’t let opportunities slip through your fingers. Seize the moment.
3. Problems with pornography
Like all addiction, you need to take certain measures to overcome it, and it requires work and dedication, not the idea of having a spouse. If your reason for stopping is simply because you have a spouse now, sooner or later you won’t be able to sustain it.
4. Feeling valued
It does seem easier to feel loved when you have someone there to tell you they love you, and to a certain level it does help. However, feeling loved and valued starts with one’s relationship with one’s self.
Emily says, “learning to love yourself and build up your own self-confidence only means that your husband doesn’t have to convince you that you’re wonderful; that’s already something you know.”
5. Your happiness
If you think getting married will make you happy then you’re mistaken. Although it will make you feel great during the first few months—or even years—if you’re basing your joy in this one thing and only this thing, it’s not bound to last.
“It is not your husband’s responsibility to make you happy all of the time,” Emily says. “That task is too much for someone else to shoulder. It is your responsibility to be happy.”
READ: Secrets to what makes a happy marriage
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