The great emphasis on mothers and mothering around the world has led to a general tendency to blame mothers for children’s behavioural problems when, in fact, fathers are often more implicated than mothers in the development of children.
According to a report in “Fathers and Their Impact on Children’s Well-Being”: (Sarah M. Ellis, Yasmin S. Khan, Victor W. Harris, Ricki McWilliams, and Diana Converse):
Even at birth, children who have an involved father or father figures are more likely to be emotionally secure enough to have confidence to explore their surroundings, and, as they grow older, have better social connections.
So here are 5 great ways a father can be involved to have a better adjusted child.
Spend ‘Quantity’ Time with your child
Yes. You heard me right. ‘Quality’ time is just not possible. No matter how how much you wish to have that checklist in your head of what you want to do, your child is not going to follow your schedule.
Children are born creative and curious. Spending that time with them without the checklist helps you both to enjoy each other’s company without the stress. Remember, treasured moments can’t be planned.
Respect your wife as an individual who shares your life with you
The battle of the egos is a well-documented phenomenon. The tendency to see women as lesser beings is something that is being rectified but just not fast enough.
Fathers need to pull their weight at home and give mothers the respect they deserve as equals. Being vulnerable and having conversations, as well as having a share in the chores as a duty and not as a favour, will stop your child from being a selfish and an intolerable being.
Be an involved Father
Statistics prove that boys who grow up with an involved dad tend to be less violent. Involved fathers are vital examples on how to channel strength and everything masculine in more positive ways.
Teaching our boys on how to wash, behave or understand the confusing sexuality at different age markers, benefit our boys.
As Sociologist David Popenoe succinctly put, “Fathers are far more than just ‘second adults’—- Involved fathers bring positive benefits to their children that no other person is as likely to bring.”
Have a weekly schedule planned
Talk to the wife on having a joint calendar (Google calendar is free!) Sit down together and decide when you can match your schedules for family activities.
Keep in mind that when junior watches this, he knows how much you value him as well as how much effort you put in to spend time with the family. In turn, as he grows older, he too will make that time for you.
Recognise that even the smartest child lacks wisdom
Even before your child can understand what you are saying, speak to him in a conversational tone. You will discover that your child will sit in rapt attention as you share your thoughts.
Be patient when they start asking questions. When they are at a young age, they actually believe you know all the answers.
But sometimes they still need to hear you say, “That’s a good question. I have no idea what the answer is!” Show them that its okay not to know as long as you make an effort to learn.
Republished with permission from: theAsianParent Singapore
