Finding out that you’re unable to have a child might be one of the most devastating things that any married couple can possibly hear.
While it’s true that a husband and wife can still have a meaningful and loving relationship even without children, it’s hard to deal with feelings of loss, hopelessness, and sometimes envy.
Share your feelings with others
Some people try and put up a brave face, especially whenever people ask them why they don’t have children yet. However, doing this won’t do a lot of good, since it won’t make people understand how you truly feel.
Sometimes, you have to let your guard down and tell people your feelings, so that they can understand you better. In some cases, it helps if you write down those feelings in a journal or a letter, so that you can better understand how you feel.
It’s not you or your spouse’s fault
Always remember that it’s not you or your spouse’s fault. It’s easy to justify things by blaming yourself or your spouse, but in reality, this type of behavior really won’t do you a lot of good.
Negative thinking does more harm than you think, and the most important thing is to always keep positive so that you can have a better perspective on things, and you won’t spiral into a deep depression, or even push people away because of your feelings.
Work together with your partner
Don’t take all the responsibility yourself. Since you’re married, you promised each other that you’ll go through your problems together no matter what happens.
Never forget that you have your spouse to lean on and to provide you all the support that you need. Likewise, you should also be there for your partner during the times when they feel like giving up, or if they feel overwhelmed.
Know when to stop
Sometimes, you just have to admit that you can’t have children. It’s really difficult, and most couples don’t even want to think of this scenario, but it’s a fact of life. Not having any children does not make you a failure; use it as an opportunity to adopt, or be foster parents to children who were not fortunate enough to have their parents in their lives.
Talk to others like you
Talking to other people who are going through the same problems as you can really help.
It makes you feel that you’re not alone in your problems, and that there’s always someone who will be able to help you deal with your feelings and provide you support. Who knows, you and your spouse might make life long friends?
Sources: resolve.org, babycenter.com, parents.com
READ: Real moms share the things they wish they knew about infertility
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