Your husband doesn't want to have sex - is this something you should be worried about? Read one mom's story about how her pregnancy affected her sex life with hubby.
In her story, you'll read:
- Her husband doesn't want to have sex with her
- What to do if your husband stops being turned on
It started when I became pregnant. At first, we we're not sure na buntis nga ako coz it was normal to me na my period is always late since I have PCOS, and we continue doing our usual "sweet time".
As the days passed by, it's 1-month na without having my period. We tried taking Pregnancy Test, and to our shock I confirmed na buntis nga ako, which is unplanned. So, things were kinda hard, coz it was my first time of becoming a mom.
Something unusual was happening
During my First Trimester, he seemed to be affectionate pa sa akin and we even try to have our "sweet time" occasionally. All of a sudden bigla siyang nagbago as I approached my Second and Third trimesters.
I asked him what's going on, he said that "he just wanted me to be okay during my pregnancy". We don’t have much time as he is always working onsite.
I don't know if it's the pregnancy hormones or it's just me, naghinala ako na may "Kabet" ang Mister ko because of the sudden change. There is this co-worker that he always used to tease, and we even got into a huge fight because I got jealous.
I started to doubt myself as well because when I became pregnant, I lose interest in putting on make-up and wearing nice clothes, or making myself presentable.
From being classy and bongga, I li-low my outfits to just using casual “dusters”. After that fight, 'di na niya nilalapitan 'yong girl para daw sa kakapanatag ng loob ko.
When I was nearing my due date, my Doctor advised us to do "sweet time" to help me when I give birth. We tried, kaso he is not aroused as he usually is that time, kaya 'di na namin tinuloy. Medyo nagtampo ako, baka kasi kako “ang panget ko na masyado”, pero hinayaan ko nalang. Then soon, I gave birth to our Son.
Talking to your husband about sex
After a few months of recovering, we tried doing again our "sweet time" and things we're working out naman. And then, I always caught him looking at celebrities in swimsuits, watching videos on unusual websites; he was kinda shy to admit that he is doing those things.
I finally found the courage to ask him, bakit parang "OFF" siya sakin while I was pregnant and when I'm breastfeeding our Son? He said he was experiencing "Madonna-Whore Complex" (In psychoanalytic literature, a Madonna-whore complex is the inability to maintain sexual arousal within a committed, loving relationship.).
At first, I couldn’t understand what he is trying to say, and he explained that “when I got pregnant, he is afraid to touch me kasi baka mapaano raw kami ni baby”, he couldn’t do anything about his masculinity that’s why he resorted to those things. On my part, medyo weird but sooner I understood it.
READ MORE:
Vaginismus: The common condition leading to painful sex
Mom confession: Hindi na ako komportable makipag-sex sa asawa ko.
Mom confession: "I never say no to my husband—pagdating sa sex"
I wasn't aware na may ganoon pa lang instances to our partners; he said na "he really respects me during my pregnancy, that's why he can't even touch me, before I gave birth and when I breastfeed our Son".
He also added, "he is just looking at those pictures/videos for his manly satisfaction but he still loves and adores me and walang nagbabago doon".
Which I understood that I cannot provide at that time. He also shows gestures to make me feel secure and loved while I am coping with my postpartum.
After that, we never argued again about that issue. Now, we are more open to communicating about this matter and 'di na ko naghihinala sa kaniya when he confessed about what he is going through.
I hope, every mom's out there could also find the courage to communicate about those things that are hard to discuss, and we all must be willing to understand our partners about these issues in a loving way, vice versa.
Also, don’t ever doubt yourself coz you are “a mother”, “a woman”, “the channel of God in giving life to this World”.
Spreading Love and Femme Power!
