X
theAsianparent Philippines Logo
theAsianparent Philippines Logo
EnglishFilipino
Product GuideSign in
  • Building a BakuNation
  • Becoming a Parent
    • Trying to Conceive
    • Pregnancy
    • Delivery
    • Losing a Baby
    • Project Sidekicks
  • Ages & Stages
    • Baby
    • Toddler Years
    • Preschool Age
    • Kids
    • Preteen & Teen
  • Parenting
    • Parent's Guide
    • News
    • Relationship & Sex
  • Health & Wellness
    • Diseases & Injuries
    • Allergies & Conditions
    • Vaccinations
  • Education
    • Preschool
    • K-12
    • Special Education Needs
  • Lifestyle Section
    • Celebrities
    • Contests & Promotions
    • Home
    • Travel and Leisure
    • Fashion
    • Fitness
    • Wellness
    • Money
  • Become a VIP
  • COVID-19
  • Press Room
  • TAP Recommends
  • Shopping
  • Awards
    • Parents' Choice Awards 2023

7 Things you should never say to a parent of a special needs child

4 min read

Though all parents can relate to the daily struggles of caring for and guiding their kids, parents of children with special needs—such as Down’s syndrome, ADHD, or Autism—face a unique set of challenges.

Yes, they face the same anxieties and joys of most parents, but it’s coupled with worrying what society constantly misunderstands about their children’s condition.

If you’re a parent of a child with special needs, you’ve surely had to extend your patience when well-meaning friends—even, strangers—presume to know anything about what it’s really like.

If you’re a parent with friends who have special needs kids, here’s how you can be more sensitive and considerate when communicating with them. Here are 8 things you should never say to a special needs parent.

1. You’re so strong. How do you do it?

Though well-meaning in its intent, this may send the wrong signal. Sure, you may feel like you’re complimenting them, but it’s like you’re implying that their little one is such a burden and that you could not imagine how you would handle something like that.

2. I can’t believe he’s such a quick learner!

Just because a child has special needs doesn’t mean he’s a slow learner. Though learning difficulties are present in some conditions, this isn’t the case for all kids with special needs.

3. I’m so sorry

Often, when you don’t know what else to say, saying sorry for their situation can be the most ‘caring’ statement you can think of. But this can actually be hurtful, in some cases. It can show that you simply pity for the child and the parent. The best way to show your compassion is to engage in communication, asking them questions to better understand what life’s really like for them, without feeling sorry for them.

7 Things you should never say to a parent of a special needs child

photo: dreamstime

 4. Can I help you in any way?

Again, you may mean well in offering your time, effort, and resources. But saying this can offend some parents who are trying their best to care for and raise their special needs child the best way they can.

For instance, suggesting a doctor or relative in the medical field to give them a second opinion makes them feel their kid needs someone to “fix them.” Remember: the experience of each special needs child (and parent) is unique. If the parent does ask for help, then that’s when you can suggest.

5. She looks so normal

Though meant to comfort a parent, it implies that there is something abnormal in their child’s condition. They’ve surely worked hard to be able to give their child the same love, care, and opportunities as every other child, but commenting on how their child “looks” just like everyone else is not often taken as a compliment.

6. You’re so good at controlling his behavior

This is another compliment that can be taken the wrong way. It’s as if you’re saying that their little one needs to be “trained.” There are certain special needs conditions that affect impulse control, and though parents have their own way of teaching their special needs child to adjust to daily activities, hearing other parents trying to commend them can be frustrating.

7. Stop spoiling her

This “tough love” statement may be a little too tough. Special needs kids have special needs. Calling them out for being too lenient on their kids can make the parent feel judged, belittled, and blamed for tolerating their kid’s behavior. Though your intention may be to emphasize that a special needs kid be treated like any other child, you should be careful not to overdo it.

What other seemingly harmless but hurtful comments would you add to this list? Let us know in the comments below!

Partner Stories
A mom’s responsibility: Getting vaccinated for her children
A mom’s responsibility: Getting vaccinated for her children
Clearing The Air About Colds
Clearing The Air About Colds
Fever Care Tips We Learned From Our Moms
Fever Care Tips We Learned From Our Moms
The Secret to Faster Fever Recovery
The Secret to Faster Fever Recovery

sources: Reader’s Digest, The Huffington Post, Today’s Parent

READ: An open letter to my ‘special’ little guy: Don’t let anyone bring you down

Got a parenting concern? Read articles or ask away and get instant answers on our app. Download theAsianparent Community on iOS or Android now!

img
Written by

Bianchi Mendoza

Become a Contributor

  • Home
  • /
  • Health
  • /
  • 7 Things you should never say to a parent of a special needs child
Share:
  • How to count menstrual cycle? 4 phases of menstrual cycle

    How to count menstrual cycle? 4 phases of menstrual cycle

  • PCOS symptoms: What you need to know about Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome

    PCOS symptoms: What you need to know about Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome

  • How to lose weight in a week: 14 steps to lose weight fast

    How to lose weight in a week: 14 steps to lose weight fast

  • How to count menstrual cycle? 4 phases of menstrual cycle

    How to count menstrual cycle? 4 phases of menstrual cycle

  • PCOS symptoms: What you need to know about Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome

    PCOS symptoms: What you need to know about Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome

  • How to lose weight in a week: 14 steps to lose weight fast

    How to lose weight in a week: 14 steps to lose weight fast

Get advice on your pregnancy and growing baby. Sign up for our newsletter
  • Pregnancy
    • Baby
    • Breastfeeding & Formula
    • Baby Names
    • Delivery
  • Parenting
    • Parent's Guide
    • Advice for Parenting Kids
    • Relationship & Sex
  • Lifestyle Section
    • Local celebs
    • Celebrities
    • Money
    • News
  • FAMILY & HOME
    • Couples
    • Weekend & Holiday Guide
    • Health
  • Building a BakuNation
    • More
      • TAP Community
      • Advertise With Us
      • Contact Us
      • Become a Contributor


    • Singapore flag Singapore
    • Thailand flag Thailand
    • Indonesia flag Indonesia
    • Philippines flag Philippines
    • Malaysia flag Malaysia
    • Sri-Lanka flag Sri Lanka
    • India flag India
    • Vietnam flag Vietnam
    • Australia flag Australia
    • Japan flag Japan
    • Nigeria flag Nigeria
    • Kenya flag Kenya
    © Copyright theAsianparent 2023. All rights reserved
    About Us|Team|Privacy Policy|Terms of Use |Sitemap HTML
    • Tools
    • Articles
    • Feed
    • Poll

    We use cookies to ensure you get the best experience. Learn MoreOk, Got it

    We use cookies to ensure you get the best experience. Learn MoreOk, Got it

    theAsianparent heart icon
    Nais naming magpadala ng notification sa'yo tungkol sa latest news at update sa pag-aalaga ng baby at kanilang kalusugan.