Did you know that even well-meaning parents can have trouble loving their kids completely? Unresolved emotional issues or traumatic personal experiences can sometimes prevent parents from loving their kids fully.
That’s why it’s important for moms and dads to be more self-aware, and to be mindful of their words, thoughts, and actions.
Here is a list of 8 things that can prevent parents from loving their kids:
1. Having a negative self-image
Parents who have a negative self-image can sometimes can extend it to their children. What this means is that since they find it hard to love themselves due to their negative self-image, it’s also difficult for them to love their children.
Sometimes, parents who have a negative self-image can even reach the point that they can hurt their children by dumping their own negative feelings on their children.
2. Being too immature
Yup, sometimes parents can be too immature, and this can prevent them from being able to love and care for their kids completely. A lack of maturity can mean that a parent might be unprepared for the responsibility of having a child, and can sometimes cause them to neglect their duties as a parent.
3. Finding it hard to accept love
Sometimes, parents have been hurt during their younger years, that they find it hard to accept love, even from people who genuinely love them. Some parents even go to the point of trying to distance themselves from their own children because they either don’t believe that their children love them, or they think that they’re not deserving of that love.
4. Suffering from unresolved trauma
Parents who were abused or suffered from trauma while they were young can sometimes project it onto their kids, especially if they still haven’t come to grips with what happened.
In some cases, parents who suffer from unresolved trauma can sometimes reject their own child’s feelings completely, or start to become defensive and overreact when their child experiences something that reminds them of their trauma. This type of behavior basically turns the child into part of the parent’s self-defense mechanism since they’re still unable to cope with their own feelings of hurt.
5. Children cause them to suffer from death anxiety
Death anxiety is anxiety that’s mainly caused by constant thoughts of death. Parents who have this type of anxiety can sometimes neglect their children because their kids remind them that they’re growing old, and this further increases their anxiety.
6. Having a hunger for love and care
Parents who have been rejected or neglected while they were young might focus their own strong desires of love and affection towards their children. This can manifest in extremely controlling and possessive behavior, and can even make some parents think that everyone else is trying to take their children away from them.
What seems as loving behavior for the parent can be very suffocating and controlling for the child, and it’s not good for the child’s development to be treated like that.
7. Using their kids as ‘immortality projects’
Some parents feel that their own children are extensions of themselves, and want their own children to act the same way and think the way that they do, effectively using their kids as “immortality projects.”
Parents who feel this way try to impose their own beliefs and reject their child’s differing beliefs simply because their children think differently from them. This can also manifest in very controlling behavior, and it’s not good for the child.
8. Having inadequate or problematic parenting styles
Some parenting styles can have a negative effect on children, making a child defiant, demanding, hostile, abusive, or unpleasant towards other people. As a result, even the parent finds it hard to love their own child because of these negative traits.
Source: psychologytoday.com
READ: 6 Sweet ways your toddler says ‘I love you’
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