X
theAsianparent Philippines Logo
theAsianparent Philippines Logo
EnglishFilipino
Product GuideSign in
  • Building a BakuNation
  • Becoming a Parent
    • Trying to Conceive
    • Pregnancy
    • Delivery
    • Losing a Baby
    • Project Sidekicks
  • Ages & Stages
    • Baby
    • Toddler Years
    • Preschool Age
    • Kids
    • Preteen & Teen
  • Parenting
    • Parent's Guide
    • News
    • Relationship & Sex
  • Health & Wellness
    • Diseases & Injuries
    • Allergies & Conditions
    • Vaccinations
  • Education
    • Preschool
    • K-12
    • Special Education Needs
  • Lifestyle Section
    • Celebrities
    • Contests & Promotions
    • Home
    • Travel and Leisure
    • Fashion
    • Fitness
    • Wellness
    • Money
  • Become a VIP
  • COVID-19
  • Press Room
  • TAP Recommends
  • Shopping
  • Awards
    • Parents' Choice Awards 2023

Prioritizing your spouse before kids will lead to a happy family life

3 min read

Tell me if this sounds familiar..

You and the man of your dreams fall in love, get married, go through the honeymoon stage, feel the magic fade somewhat but are still fairly able to easily resolve conflicts, learn you’re having a baby, go into honeymoon mode again, have the child, and feel like it’s the best time of your life, then BOOM. Reality hits and the sleepless nights filled with inconsolable crying plus the spike in expenses that come with supporting a child just put so much strain in your marriage.

Suddenly you and your husband can’t see eye to eye on so many things anymore — especially when it comes to decisions involving the kids. He wants to take the kids swimming after lunch; you say it’s the middle of summer and they’ll surely get sunburnt. He wants a big party; you want a small one. He wants them to go to the school he attended; you want to try this new school that you heard is the best. His family wants to take them to Disneyland for Christmas; your family wants Boracay.

Want to relieve the tension building up between Mom & Dad? Go back to being Husband & Wife.

Prioritizing Your Spouse before Kids Will Lead to a Happy Family Life

The secret to having a good marriage is to put your spouse before your kids

Prioritizing your spouse will lead to a happy family life.

According to David Cole, family coach and author of “To Raise Happy Kids, Put Your Marriage First”, many couples today are heading towards a crisis by giving all their attention to their kids. Many parents believe that if they give their kids more attention, their children will grow up to be better individuals.

But guess what? “Devoted parents do not produce happy children,” says Cole. As parents become over-focused on their children, meeting the constantly increasing demands of the kids takes a toll on mom & dad’s personal happiness; and consequently, takes away not just focus from their relationship with each other, but also the energy and effort they put into it.

On the next page: the best thing you can do for your kids.

When helping couples with marital problems, Cole reminds them that they married their spouses not their children.

They advise them to evaluate their priorities and start working on their relationship. He reveals that couples often use their kids as a “shield” from their spouses. When something goes wrong within a marriage, parents have the tendency to pour all their energy into parenting so they can avoid dealing with their marital issues.

Like what child psychologist Madeline Levine said, “When a marriage is cold, a child’s bed is a warm place to be.”

In short, the best thing that parents can do for their kids is to tend to their marriage. When problems or conflicts arise, don’t run away from them. Instead deal with them right away.

When kids see that their parents have a good relationship, they feel secure and will have less emotional baggage. So start spending more time with each other. Remember, you have to be intentional about this because nothing will happen if you don’t make plans.

If you have any insights, questions or comments regarding the topic, please share them in our Comment box below. Like us on Facebook and follow us on Google+ to stay up-to-date on the latest from theAsianparent.com Philippines!

Partner Stories
Parents, here's what you should do when your child sees you and your spouse fighting
Parents, here's what you should do when your child sees you and your spouse fighting
#SendLoveWithBebeBata
#SendLoveWithBebeBata
13 Must-haves for Your Online Baby Checkout Checklist
13 Must-haves for Your Online Baby Checkout Checklist
This Mommy Welfare Month, Absolute Gives Back The Love to Moms #SelfLoveIsBabyLove
This Mommy Welfare Month, Absolute Gives Back The Love to Moms #SelfLoveIsBabyLove

Got a parenting concern? Read articles or ask away and get instant answers on our app. Download theAsianparent Community on iOS or Android now!

img
Written by

Mima

Become a Contributor

  • Home
  • /
  • Parenting
  • /
  • Prioritizing your spouse before kids will lead to a happy family life
Share:
  • Positive reinforcement parenting: 5 tips and things you should know

    Positive reinforcement parenting: 5 tips and things you should know

  • What is gentle parenting? 5 tips and benefits of gentle parenting

    What is gentle parenting? 5 tips and benefits of gentle parenting

  • Parents' Guide: 17 things na hindi dapat gawin sa newborn baby

    Parents' Guide: 17 things na hindi dapat gawin sa newborn baby

  • Positive reinforcement parenting: 5 tips and things you should know

    Positive reinforcement parenting: 5 tips and things you should know

  • What is gentle parenting? 5 tips and benefits of gentle parenting

    What is gentle parenting? 5 tips and benefits of gentle parenting

  • Parents' Guide: 17 things na hindi dapat gawin sa newborn baby

    Parents' Guide: 17 things na hindi dapat gawin sa newborn baby

Get advice on your pregnancy and growing baby. Sign up for our newsletter
  • Pregnancy
    • Baby
    • Breastfeeding & Formula
    • Baby Names
    • Delivery
  • Parenting
    • Parent's Guide
    • Advice for Parenting Kids
    • Relationship & Sex
  • Lifestyle Section
    • Local celebs
    • Celebrities
    • Money
    • News
  • FAMILY & HOME
    • Couples
    • Weekend & Holiday Guide
    • Health
  • Building a BakuNation
    • More
      • TAP Community
      • Advertise With Us
      • Contact Us
      • Become a Contributor


    • Singapore flag Singapore
    • Thailand flag Thailand
    • Indonesia flag Indonesia
    • Philippines flag Philippines
    • Malaysia flag Malaysia
    • Sri-Lanka flag Sri Lanka
    • India flag India
    • Vietnam flag Vietnam
    • Australia flag Australia
    • Japan flag Japan
    • Nigeria flag Nigeria
    • Kenya flag Kenya
    © Copyright theAsianparent 2023. All rights reserved
    About Us|Team|Privacy Policy|Terms of Use |Sitemap HTML
    • Tools
    • Articles
    • Feed
    • Poll

    We use cookies to ensure you get the best experience. Learn MoreOk, Got it

    We use cookies to ensure you get the best experience. Learn MoreOk, Got it

    theAsianparent heart icon
    Nais naming magpadala ng notification sa'yo tungkol sa latest news at update sa pag-aalaga ng baby at kanilang kalusugan.