Bestselling author Marianne Williamson once said: "Unforgiveness is like drinking poison yourself and waiting for the other person to die."
Those who've been betrayed know the feeling of being unable to let go of the anger, vowing never to forgive those who've wronged them. In the case of cheating husbands, it's usually the mistress or the other woman that receives most of the hate. There is no justification for wrecking a happy home, but in order to move forward, you must try to forgive the one who hurt you.
1. Forgiving her will help you move on
Grant forgiveness for your own peace of mind. This doesn't mean you are allowing them to hurt you again. It only means you are the bigger person. It means you won't allow resentment to enslave you for the rest of your days.
2. Giving her the benefit of the doubt helps you become objective
Sure, what she did was wrong, but if you don't know the full story, consider the fact that she probably had no idea and she's just as hurt about it as you. "Innocent until proven guilty," as they say.
She was probably tricked into it, not knowing she was in a relationship with someone committed to another. This, again, is in no way justifying becoming a mistress, but merely a perspective worth exploring to make forgiveness a bit easier.
3. Your existing relationship problems weren't directly her fault
And remember: it's not your fault, either. When a husband strays, it's always their choice. Regardless of the temptation surrounding them, they have the power to choose to be faithful or not. The other woman isn't the one causing the problems; most of the time, she is merely a "symptom of the disease." Acknowledging this will help you begin to find peace.
4. She might be a good person
As difficult as this might be to accept, she may not have intentionally wanted to hurt anybody. She might actually be a genuinely good person who wants to love and be loved back. So again, giving her the benefit of the doubt will also help you rise above all the hurt she's caused you, be it intentional or otherwise.
5. Not every 'other woman' wants to wreck a home
Mind you, there are those exceptions: women who get their kicks out of snatching men from their families. We're simply talking about those who are just as clueless as the wives who were betrayed. As they say, no woman grows up wanting to be a mistress.
Forgiveness is a decision. It takes unbelievable strength to have the restraint not to retaliate or harbor bitterness. What would you choose?
sources: The Huffington Post, To Love, Honor & Vacuum, Psychology Today
READ: An open letter to the wife from a mistress: ‘I was just as clueless as you’
