It’s not impossible to maintain genuine friendships with the opposite sex when you’re married. But the challenge lies in determining how close is “too close”?
How can you keep yourself accountable when you’re not sure where to draw the line? Start by finding out if you are guilty of the following.
1. You have ulterior motives
Whether you’re ready to admit it or not, having a hidden agenda is a clear sign that flirting has evolved into emotional cheating. It can be as simple as wanting your “friend” to notice that you look pretty, or as blatant as exchanging suggestive messages. If you feel the need to keep it a secret, then it’s most likely a bad idea.
2. If you’re making excuses
Are you rationalizing your behavior? Do you keep downplaying it, emphasizing how “harmless” it is to constantly joke around or banter with a friend you find attractive? Perhaps, it’s time to back up and assess why you insist on relating to them in this way.
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3. If you are too invested in their life
Caring isn’t a bad thing, but caring too much about someone other than your spouse could be a danger sign that you’re entering emotional affair territory. Ask yourself this: are you overly invested in another person’s life or happiness, to the point that it affects your day? Are you constantly checking up on them and thinking about them? This could be a sign that you see them as more than just a good friend.
4. If your friends or relatives start getting worried
Those closest to you know you best, so if they begin to voice out their concern that you are getting a bit “too close” to someone that isn’t your spouse, pay attention. Don’t brush off their warnings and acknowledge that they’re only opening up to you because they care. Valuing your relationship means being open to the help of those closest to you.
5. If another person is fulfilling needs your spouse can’t
Do you find yourself seeking a friend’s opinion and constantly reaching out to them for emotional support instead of your partner? This is a sign of a growing emotional connection that can lead to a full-blown affair.
The toughest part about emotional cheating is that it can sneak up on you. So it’s best to be honest with yourself early on, once you start noticing these warning signs, so you can work through whatever is causing you to drift away from your partner, before it’s too late.
READ: Is your spouse a flirt without realizing it? Here’s how to set some boundaries
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