The 16-year-old from Portsmouth found out this horrible truth in the most unlikely manner. Lorna May Anslow was in love with boyfriend Joseph Johnson, 20, and was living with him at the time of this accidental revelation. According to this report, she randomly decided to tidy up his room one day and came across a bunch of papers. As she sifted through those, she realized that she had found evidence pointing at his being a pedophile. She had come across papers which said that Joseph was facing charges for sexual activity with an underage girl.
“What I saw made me feel sick to my stomach… My stomach knotted tightly as I thought about what this meant for us – for the baby. Everything had happened so fast with Joseph – did I even know him at all?”, she said according to this report.
On confronting the dad-to-be, he said it was an “immature” mistake and may not even get charged for it. Finally, as her intuition proved right and he was declared guilty by the court, she decided to walk out of his life for good. Luckily for Lorna and her baby, good sense prevailed and instead of falling for his pleas of taking him back, she decided to begin afresh with her baby.
I found this disturbing on various levels. Right from the fact that we are discussing teenage pregnancy, to the fact that Lorna had no idea till it was a bit late ( to be honest, I feel it’s never too late to walk out of a disturbing reality and I’m glad she did), to the scary, eerie, fact that Johnson was a pedophile. It just makes me wonder how innocent our children are to such seemingly nice people who are out there just to prey on them. How do we ensure that our little ones are safe from falling in the trap of a pedophile?
Here are some tips to help parents warn their children of dangers lurking in our society under various identities and relations:
- ‘Stranger danger’ and beyond: We all know by know that it’s not always a stranger behind a sexual offense. But then, how can you keep your child from interacting with anyone? Right! Have a talk. Explain what ‘good touch, bad touch’ is all about. Tell them that if they feel discomfort even in the way a certain auntie/uncle holds their hand, alert a parent or any reliable adult around.
- Avoid keeping secrets: Don’t make your child believe that it’s okay to have secrets. Most sex abusers capitalize on playing the ‘secret’ card. They manipulate children by saying things like, “this is our little secret and if you share it with mommy, she will get mad at you” or worse, “if you share our secret with mommy, I will hurt her”. Young children must be told that no adult should ever ask them to keep a secret. Of course, that means that you can’t keep a secret with your child either to avoid sending confusing messages.
- Believe your child: If he expresses unusual discomfort about visiting someone, gently probe to figure out why. If he tells you in his childlike manner that he dislikes your closest friend, believe him. Try to figure out the reason, and act accordingly. Never make him feel that you do not trust his words enough to do something about it.
Most often, what happens is parents are in a state of denial. They do not want to even consider the possibility of things going wrong with their kids and hence, avoid talking about the issue. However, despite it being an awkward topic, it’s better to address it instead of being in denial and risking the worst happen to your child.
READ: Pedophile caught by vigilante group after he thought he was meeting a 13-year-old
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[Images courtesy: Pixabay]
