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5 'Harmless' comments that actually hurt dads' feelings

3 min read

Fathers are more involved today than they were in previous generations. So, why is it that there isn’t more gender equality in the home?

A study has found that dad-involvement parenting has a positive impact on kids’ academic performance as opposed to those whose fathers were less involved.

Dads who are more participative means less pressure on moms to be the sole caregiver in the home. It also opens up different opportunities for both moms and dads to redefine their own roles in the home without adhering to archaic norms.

But, sadly, there are still deeply ingrained stereotypes that cause us to overlook how important dads are in the home.

Though we don’t mean to make dads feel like they’re incapable of contributing positively to raising kids as much as moms are, even the simplest things can offend them.

Here are just a few seemingly harmless comments that actually hurt dads’ feelings.

“Looks like Daddy dressed you today!”

This usual joke may often be said in jest but it stems from this enduring belief that caring duties are only done right by moms.

Dads are perfectly capable of dressing and grooming kids just as well as moms.

“Are you on babysitting duty today?”

This is another comment commonly used to start “small talk”. But, though it may seem harmless, it actually demotes a dad’s role in their child’s life.

This implies that dads are just “temporarily” caring for their kids until the “real” parent comes back.

When dads care for their kids, they’re not babysitting. It’s simply called parenting.

“Maybe it’s best to ask their mom.”

Dads are capable of making parenting decisions, too. So, why is it that many people put more weight on a mom’s opinion when it comes to the welfare of their kids?

Big decisions need the opinions of both parents, of course. But, for instance, simple decisions such as choosing a diaper brand can totally be handled by the dad.

“Your wife is going out of town? Oh no, what are you going to do?”

Dads are also equipped with the ability to multi-task and schedule all of their kids appointments, classes, and other activities.

They can even squeeze in household chores and other errands, if given the chance.

They’re not inept and can totally handle all aspects of parenting if their wife needs them to.

“Wow, that’s amazing! Good for you.”

Now, this may seem like a nice thing to say but it becomes patronizing when you start praising a dad for simply getting their kid’s clothes on all by themselves or teaching kids to feed themselves.

For most people, if a mom did all of these tasks, it wouldn’t warrant compliments.

So, dads should be commended, yes. But never patronized. They’re just as much essential to parenting as moms are.

READ: ‘Dads don’t babysit’ shirt sparks online debate about fatherhood

If you have any insights, questions or comments regarding the topic, please share them in our Comment box below. Like us on Facebook and follow us on Google+ to stay up-to-date on the latest from theAsianparent.com Philippines!

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Bianchi Mendoza

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