Midwife and child health nurse, Jane Barry, has the advice you need for keeping your love and relationship with husband during pregnancy healthy.
You’ll face lots of challenges during your pregnancy, and not all of them physical. Keeping your intimate relationship alive and healthy will be another important thing to include on your ‘to do’ list. Because, without a functional and healthy relationship with your partner, you’re likely to feel stressed and not experience as much joy as possible during your pregnancy.
Hormonal changes during pregnancy can create feelings of uncertainty about the type of person we’ve become. Being kind and compassionate makes a big difference towards how we treat ourselves and in turn, our partner.
When it comes to the relationship with husband during pregnancy, it is important to speak your mind. | Image source: iStock
Relationship with Husband During Pregnancy: But don’t you just get it?
We can often be vague about ways we want help. As someone very wise once said, “How can we expect people to know what we want if we don’t ask for it”? Try to be clear and specific about the ways you want help. e.g. allocate tasks, but be fair and reasonable.
Try not to focus on every possible negative thing. We all tend to tune out after a while, no matter what’s being said. Similarly, don’t buy into arguments you want no part of. Aim for a simple and stress-free life when you’re pregnant and let your partner know that’s your daily objective.
Praise where it’s warranted. It’s human nature to respond positively when the feedback is kind. So ignore what really doesn’t matter and save your energy for the big stuff.
Have fun together. Healthy relationships are built on a range of shared experiences. Just be open to how some days flow and try not to plan and organise every possible minute.
Don’t expect them to read your mind. | Image source: iStock
I’m feeling really angry right now!
Recognise when you need some space and ask your partner for it. Sometimes it’s very protective to just remove ourselves from a situation where we may say something we will later regret. Recognize your own personal triggers which make you feel angry and resentful. There’s no harm in a healthy argument, but avoid blaming and shaming. Start by saying “I feel” or “When I’m feeling”; they’re good statements because they are never wrong.
Pregnancy hormones can account for a range of mood swings or emotional ups and downs. Try not to compare how you’re feeling now with how you did before you were pregnant. Twenty four hours a day, your baby is growing and supporting your baby towards an independent life. Even when you’re asleep, your body is working hard, remember that.
Take whatever opportunity you can to sleep and rest. Sleep deprivation contributes to mood swings so avoid fatigue if you can.
Avoid making any big decisions late at night or when you’re tired and had it. None of us make good choices when we’re stressed or feel pressured to come up with solutions either.
Understand that anger often has at its base, fear and lack of control. It can also be a symptom of depression or frustration over situations which we’d prefer not to be in. Uncontrolled anger or rage, is often a symptom of more significant mental health issues.
Ways to relax which really work
Practice mindfulness and relaxation techniques which will help to relieve your stress. Download podcasts, explore apps and get connected to a range of useful resources which resonate with you.
Save your energy for areas you can control and let go of what you can’t. Decide what’s really important and give the rest a miss. Make a conscious decision to protect yourself and your relationship from unnecessary stress.
Plan for a holiday or babymoon before your baby is born. This can be a great way for expectant couples to reconnect.
Explore exercise options which are suitable during pregnancy. Yoga, Pilates, swimming or walking are all excellent choices.
Speak with a healthcare professional if you feel your anger is uncontrollable. Your GP is a good place to start, as well as your maternity care provider.
Work at it, it’s worth it. | Image source: iStock.
Relationship with husband during pregnancy: Top 10 ways to keep your relationship healthy
- Be honest with your partner about how you feel. Keep the lines of communication open so you feel comfortable to share your experiences.
- Don’t rely solely on your partner to be your only source of support. It’s important to maintain a strong and supportive network of friends and family as well.
- Remember, most women get their emotional ‘food’ from other women. Don’t isolate yourself from those women who will nurture you. Your mother, mother-in-law, sisters, aunts and friends could all offer you a level of support you’ve not needed until now that you’re pregnant.
- Accept that not every moment of your pregnancy will be perfection. You’re entitled to complain and say it like it is if you’re having a hard time.
- Where possible, both go to antenatal appointments. Share the joy and excitement that a new baby brings.
- Try not to control every aspect of planning for your baby. Allow your partner to have some areas in the organisation which don’t require your direction.
- Plan for the baby’s coming. Write up a birth plan which includes your partner’s preferences. Work out ways they can support you.
- Attend a childbirth education class together. Plan for a maternity hospital tour with each other and go shopping for the baby as a team.
- Ask your partner for help when you need it and accept their support graciously.
- Try not to make the baby the focus of every conversation you have. Though unbelievably important, the baby’s arrival shouldn’t eclipse everything else which is going on in your lives.
Remember
Don’t stop taking your usual medication when you are pregnant unless this is under the guidance of a healthcare professional. Medications which have a mood stabilising effect often need to be reduced slowly, or continued at a lower dose to be safe to use during pregnancy.
Republished with permission from theAsianparent Singapore
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