Here is a challenge to all the dads. Are you man enough to do this to your wife? The thing you have to do is increase her self confidence and here are seven ways to do it. So are you up for the challenge?
The article, published by Jerry Stumpf on Good Men Project is an amazing read. It tells men how to be the real heroes – by boosting their spouse’s self confidence. And this is necessary to have a balance in a relationship. Doing these seven things would help you close the confidence gap between you and your wife.
1. Build up positivity in their hearts and minds
The author does not miss a chance to tell his wife that she is beautiful, something she believes she isn’t. But by reiterating the same, he has seen positive changes in her personality.
It is a known fact that to build confidence, encouragement helps. But the foundation of the relationship will be strengthened by building up the positivity in her life. So go ahead and appreciate small things about her. Do it to see the joy on her face.
Positivity brings self confidence
However, take care not to lie. This will destroy the trust she has in you. So be honest when you embark on this journey.
2. Let her know that you are her safety net
A very close friend of mine had a very strict father. He could not handle failure, and he expected her to excel in anything she wanted to do. This took the joy out of her childhood, and she stopped doing things she thought she could not do well.
As a result, even after having a kid, she is reluctant to try out new things, for the fear of failure. Her husband on the other hand tries his hand at everything just to test his limits. Though this balances the absurdities in the family, it would have been great to see her doing things just for the sake of enjoying.
So if your wife wants to do something new, support her. If you feel that she might fail, keep your opinion to yourself. Some day, you will realize that it is the journey that matters, not the destination. Even if she fails, she would still have learnt a lot from it!
3. Please her how she likes to be pleased
Show her that you know her. It may just be the tiny gestures like folding your own blanket in the morning, or making her coffee after a long day at work. It is important for a partner to understand that there is someone in this world who knows her for what she is!
4. Create a list of their best qualities
Jerry suggests that we make such a list. Later, attribute a memory to the quality. Pin it on the refrigerator. This is not to stoke her vanity, but to let her know the qualities she might have forgotten she has!
5. Practice praising her in public
I find this really important. Most often, in a group of friends, when the conversation comes to some couple’s differences, others try to show how perfect they are as a couple. And this becomes quite obvious for even a casual observer.
Practise praising her in a group
Instead of praising your wife in front of others just to prove a point, try praising her for what she is. If the group is a close one, they will all appreciate what you are saying. However, if you practice praising her in public, it will come more naturally and more often, something that will boost her self-confidence immensely.
6. Make time for her
Most of us live years on end without even engaging in a meaningful conversation. This is not good for any relationship. Does your wife feel that she puts in more effort in the marriage than you do? This is the small crack in the dam. Let it not increase any further.
Clear your calendar and give her the time she deserves. You may scale a mountain, or do nothing at all. Promise her some quality time and let her lead the way. Try this out and see the difference in her confidence!
7. Accept her unconditionally
When you marry someone you do so because you accept her for what she is. Just accept her unconditionally. She is going to help your family grow. She is going to be your best friend, a trusted advisor and a person who will be there for you when you need her.
So stop comparing her with others. Every person has his idiosyncrasies. That is what separates us from robots. Appreciate her for what she is, and see her bloom even further!
Dads, do you think this list makes sense? Do you accept our challenge? Let us know in the comments below.
Also read: “Husbands, we are no more entitled to a restful weekend than our wives”
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