God’s perfect timing!
When you get diagnosed with unexplained infertility and you have been longing to build a family, you feel devastated. You feel as if you were defeated and feel shattered. Like the world has turned against you and you start questioning your worth and you ask God “Why me?”.
The hard times
This was the very unpleasant state I got trapped in, which took a while for me to fully grasp. There were days I locked myself in the bathroom crying (which was pretty much every single time my period came). My heart pounded every time I took a pregnancy test, hoping to see those two lines I’ve long been waiting for.
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There were countless times I felt like no one really understood my pains. Moments I felt like I was a failure not only to myself but to the people who wished for me to bear a child. There were numerous times I had to pretend being okay.
I remember feeling uneasy, guarded, and anxious attending gatherings (since I know people would bring up the pregnancy topic). Times I had to fight back my tears and appear unhurt when asked: “Ano, wala pa ba?” or “Kailan ka magkaka-baby?”.
It was a very difficult and dark phase in my life which could’ve continued on if I didn’t have the courage to let go of my self-made timeline and the negative thoughts and emotions that poisoned my spirit.
Image from iStock
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Nothing is impossible because God always answers
The moment that I wholeheartedly recognized that we have a God who makes all things possible and designs our lives according to His plans, is the very moment my perception of the situation changed. The truth is, sometimes, God leads us to the wilderness to humble and test our faith.
He allows us to go through sufferings in order for Him to see what’s in our deepest core. To find out whether or not we’ll keep our eyes fixed on Him amidst of it all.
Although at times, struggles may seem impossible to surpass, I want to reaffirm everyone, those who are in the same situation, and especially those with a faint heart, that God delivers His promises to those who love Him and obey His commands. Our God is truly greater than our highs and lows. And even at times we lead your own selves astray, He is always there –ready to cradle us with His love.
The Lord perfectly knows what’s best for us and knows when to give the desires of our hearts. Sometimes, we experience delays and roadblocks because it simply isn’t the right season and may be God’s way of saving us from possible harm.
So I chose to completely trust God’s perfect timing and ardently accepted the way He did things. I learned to genuinely smile at people’s curiosity and answer back with hope, saying “Malapit na” or “Kung kailan ibibigay” and I decided to be a little more kind to myself.
So, I chose to completely surrender. Regardless of how long I had to wait, I did not give up on my dream of becoming a mother, and did not give up on believing that my time will come. I never stopped hoping. I never stopped praying. And this mighty miracle is enough proof to show that God answers prayers, that God’s perfect timing is the perfect time, He is in control, that He is faithful, and He is able. ♡
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