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To the husband checking out another woman while on a date with his wife

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I don’t know you, but I know that look. That distracted, subtle sideways glance that’s not so subtle. You’re looking at the lady in the red dress, aren’t you? I noticed her, too.

I don’t know you, but I know that look. That distracted, subtle sideways glance that’s not so subtle. You’re looking at the lady in the red dress, aren’t you? I noticed her, too. She takes a seat at the bar with ease, not an easy feat with a dress as tight as hers.

I’m sure your wife noticed her, too. Do you think she didn’t? She keeps primping her hair, adjusting her dress just so, glancing furtively at you and the woman in red. Smiling widely, she offers you some of her food.

Even with a simple black dress and light makeup, your wife looks great. She probably had a few minutes to get ready, she has lipstick on her teeth and her brows are uneven, but she looks pretty.

I sit here alone, waiting for my order. I don’t mind eating alone in fancy restaurants, you see. It’s quiet and the food’s great. And it probably has become a habit for me to watch people, that's why I can’t help but notice you and how you’re trying not to ignore your wife.

I see myself in her. I was married too, you know. I tried to look younger, lose weight; I spent a small fortune on cosmetic products and new outfits. Despite all this, a time came when he stopped looking at me. But he stopped seeing me long before that.

It's the little things that get you. I hope you realize this before it's too late.

How long have you been married? Based on her shiny wedding ring, I’m going to venture a guess and say you’re newlyweds.

What must it be like to still be in the honeymoon stage? I can barely remember.

I’m sure you love her, but I can't help but feel for her. She seems to be excited to have a romantic night out with you, the love of her life. I don’t know you, but I can tell just by the way she looks at you how much she loves you. I hope you know that. And maybe ask yourself, why does she have to compete with a total stranger for your attention?

I've been in her shoes. We always act like we don't notice, but we do.

The fact that you seem to have eyes for everyone but her confirms her worst fear: that you no longer think she’s beautiful. I hope you show her how much you appreciate her.

Your wife is beautiful, stop making her feel like she isn't. With one look at her, it's easy to tell how much she tries her best when she's with you. So appreciate her and pay attention. Because if you don't, someone else will. You wouldn't want that, I'm sure. You seem like a good guy. I'm rooting for both of you.

And, if I may, here's a tip: she doesn't need grand gestures; she just wants to be seen and valued.

All women are beautiful in their own way and there’s nothing wrong with admiring them, but I hope you reserve your longing gaze for your beautiful wife, who’s sitting right in front of you.

READ: An Open letter to my husband’s malanding co-worker

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