Asking your wife to do any of these things can cause a lot of problems in your relationship.
For all of the husbands out there, make sure you never ask your wife to do any of these things!
1. Don’t ask your wife to change who she is
Everyone’s different, and that’s what makes people unique and special. Asking your wife to change who she is is basically telling your wife that you want someone else, and not her. So unless what you’re asking from them would improve your life as a married couple, such as fixing bad habits, or having a healthier lifestyle, you should never ask your wife to change who she is. Try to understand how it feels if your wife asks you to change who you are, it doesn’t feel good right?
2. Ask them to spend less time with their friends, and more time with you
If you can spend time with your buddies, then your wife should also be able to spend time with their friends. If you find yourself constantly asking your wife to spend more time with you at the expense of her friends, then it could be a sign of jealousy, control issues, and insecurity.
3. Sacrifice something they love for your sake
Compromise is normal in a relationship, but total sacrifice is bad in a relationship. If you ask your wife to give up something that they love, or give up something that they’re passionate about for your sake, then that’s a big problem, and you’re only hurting your relationship in the process. Respect your wife’s beliefs and interests, and don’t pressure them to change just because you think different.
4. Give up their career
This is a common problem here in the Philippines; a lot of men feel that once their wife gives birth, then they should stop working completely, and just take care of the kids. This is an outdated and sexist train of thought, and it’s important to establish that it’s not a woman’s sole responsibility to take care of the kids, it’s the responsibility of both the parents. If your wife wants to take care of your children full time, then that’s good. If they want to hire a nanny so that the both of you can work, that’s good as well.
5. Ask them to do something they’re not comfortable with
Whether it’s making excuses to your boss, asking them to lie to their friends, or even do something that they don’t want to when you’re being intimate, no means no. You should never force anyone, especially your wife, to do something that they’re not 100% comfortable, and in agreement with.
6. Don’t ask to check their phone or read their messages
A lot of people think that “if she has nothing to hide, then it’s okay for me to check her phone,” and that’s totally wrong. Even if you’re married, you need to afford your wife a degree of privacy. If they’re open with sharing their text messages or messages on social media with you, then that’s great. If they’re not, then don’t automatically think that they’re trying to hide something. People need privacy, and being married is no exception.
7. Don’t ask them to pick sides
If you’re having a feud with your wife’s friends, or her parents, then you should never ever ask your wife to pick sides. Your wife is your partner in life, but it doesn’t mean that they should always put you above everyone else in their life, especially their family.
There’s a big difference between forcing them to show their loyalty, and being there for you, so don’t put them on the spot.
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