According to psychologist Eli Finkel, people’s satisfaction with their marriages depends on emotional supply and demand. This means that it’s important for couples to increase the supply of emotional satisfaction that they give their respective partners.
Here are a few ‘love hacks’ that Finkel recommends couples do in order to help improve their marriage and provide the emotional satisfaction that both of them need!
Touch is important when it comes to strengthening your bond as a couple. And holding hands is one of the easiest ways for married couples to maintain physical contact with each other.
The simple act of holding your spouse’s hand while you walk in the mall, or even if you’re just in the grocery can make a world of difference to your relationship.
Stop jumping to conclusions
A lot of couples fall prey to this big mistake. Sometimes a husband might overthink his wife’s text messages, or a wife might overthink her husband’s frequent late hours in the office.
Feeling paranoid and mentally accusing your spouse of infidelity or doing things behind your back won’t do anything good for you or your relationship. Learn to trust each other, and avoid jumping to conclusions and having negative thoughts.
Rethink your fights
Whenever you have a disagreement with your spouse, instead of trying to fight, take a moment and look at your argument from the outside.
Put yourself in the place of someone else and rethink if what you’re fighting over really is worth all of the hassle and hostility. You’ll soon notice that there’s really nothing good that you can get from fighting with your spouse.
It’s better to talk things through calmly and work things out instead of having a shouting match with your partner.
Make a list of things that you’re thankful for
Sometimes couples tend to forget to be thankful to each other. Make a list of things that you’re thankful to your spouse for, and you’ll feel more invested in your relationship.
It serves as a reminder as to why you got married in the first place and can help couples reconnect with each other.
In some marriages, there’s a phenomenon called “rejection sensitivity” of one partner. It basically means that that person has low self-esteem and as a result can sometimes reject their partner’s love because they can’t believe that their partner loves them.
Sometimes, they reject their partner’s feelings outright in an attempt to preemptively avoid getting hurt by rejection.
Researchers have found that giving compliments can help people deal with rejection sensitivity and can thus help improve their marriage, build trust, and strengthen the relationship.
Small victories are important
Celebrate the small things with your partner. If you’ve finished unpacking after moving to a new home, why not celebrate it? If you had a good day at work, give you and your spouse a nice treat.
It’s the little things that add up and make everything feel worthwhile. So never discount the importance of celebrating small victories.
READ: 10 Daily habits that can help strengthen your marriage