In marriage, there will be times when you will mess up, when you fail or disappoint your spouse. Even if you love them and strive to be the best partner, you’re only human and there will be times when you make mistakes.
Aside from saying ‘I’m sorry’ over and over again, why not try these ways to let them know you sincerely regret the error of your ways?
1. Admit you’re at fault
Nothing makes an apology more meaningful than telling your spouse you accept the blame. Saying your wrong in a sincere way will iron out the tension and conflict, especially after a heated argument. It’s important not to just admit it so you can end a discussion. But show them you’ve really thought about and explain your side in a calm manner.
2. Acknowledge their feelings
More than admitting your faults, show them your regret is mostly because you have hurt their feelings. This comforts them and reminds them that their emotions are valid and that you want to strive to shield them from whatever would cause them pain, even if it’s sometimes your own words and actions.
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3. Don’t apologize out of obligation
Saying you’re sorry must be accompanied by sincerity, not because you think it’s what you’re supposed to do. Show them you’re apologizing because it’s what’s right and it’s what you want to do. Doing this will help deepen and strengthen your love.
4. Make promises you can keep
Studies have shown that the most effective apologies are coupled with showing your commitment not to repeat the same mistakes. But don’t overpromise, too. Admit that there are things you need to work on; what’s important is that they see how committed you are to be better for them, but also for your own self-improvement.
5. Come up with a plan and follow through
Action must follow your apology. Come up with a list of things or words to avoid in order to avoid a similar conflict from happening in the future. For instance, if you tend to raise your voice during arguments, make a commitment to try and get your point across in a more calm tone the next time around, or perhaps taking a break for a few minutes before a discussion could also help to keep you from yelling or losing your temper.
6. Woo your spouse
Wooing your spouse and trying to win them over is a good habit, but it becomes all the more important after a fight. Shower them with affection, presents, and devote your time to them. This will not only help patch things up it will also help you move forward with a deeper love for one another.
7. Be patient
Above all, don’t expect your spouse to instantly forgive you. Be patient with them and don’t get easily frustrated if they don’t reciprocate when you’re trying to woo them. Just constantly remind them of how you believe that you will your love will endure—even when they don’t necessarily like you. Whatever hurt or resentment they feel will surely fade if they’re constantly reassured of your love.
sources: Our Peaceful Family, Psychology Today, The Atlantic, Family Share
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