It takes a village to raise a child and it often takes an equally supportive village to help keep a mom sane in the often overwhelming journey of parenting. Having good, reliable mom friends to lift you up can help ease burdens, but having toxic mom friends can do the opposite.
Sometimes, it can be tough to determine whether a mom friend’s behavior is harmful and destructive, because it’s not always that obvious.
How can you spot toxic mom friends?
For starters, it helps to know what a healthy friendship between two moms is like. Ideally, a good friend is one who is supportive and not judgmental. A friendship becomes toxic when a mom friend constantly tries to outdo you or doesn’t seem to be able to sincerely be happy for your victories. Toxic behavior also manifests in wanting to always be the center of attention. Basically, she wants to lift herself up by putting you down.
To spot if you have toxic mom friends, try to look closely at your relationship. Is it one-sided? Does she always ask for favors without ever returning them? Does she spread judgment, insecurity, and negativity through words and actions?
For the toxic mom friend, everything is a competition. They constantly compare their kids to yours. Another sign is that even her seemingly well-meaning jokes sting and are driven by bitterness.
photo: dreamstime
How can you handle toxic mom friends?
Is severing ties the only way to deal with toxic mom friends? In most cases, it is not. Simply distancing yourself and your kids from them, so that their negativity doesn’t affect your own life could work. Try to confide in friends you can trust.
Don’t make yourself an easy target by overly sharing with them. If their attitude is becoming unbearable and they only stir up drama where there is none, then perhaps it’s healthier to just cut ties with them.
If you’re close to the person, try to talk to them about their behavior, but if you feel that confronting them will do more harm than good, then it might be best to just close that chapter in your life and focus on the loving and supportive mom friends you have in your life and on the possibility of forming healthier and all-around better friendships.
How would you handle toxic mom friends? Let us know in the comments below.
READ: The 5 mommy friends you need in your life
